When you imagine your grandparents, do you ever think about their hearts beating faster for someone, or do you only see them through the lens of ageing and fragility? 

Perhaps it’s easier to dismiss the truth that they, too, are human with blood still warm and a mind that wanders to the thought of loving and being loved, even at 70, 80, or 90. 

This week, Nairobi Gossip’s confession page has left Kenyans shocked, amused, and reflective after trending revelations of elderly people, mostly grandmothers, having romantic relationships with much younger men-some, young enough to be their grandchildren. 

But it was not the relationships alone that stirred conversation, but the revelation that some illiterate grandparents recruit their own grandchildren to read them intimate, sometimes erotic messages from their lovers because they cannot read or write in English or Kiswahili. 

A confession came from a young woman who chose to hide her identity. 

Old and alone 

She revealed that ever since her grandfather died two years ago, her grandmother, 60-year-old, has refused to accept that she is old and alone. 

According to her, their grandmother asks her and her siblings to read and even send romantic messages to men on her behalf because she cannot read or write. 

She added that her grandmother runs a small shop where these men often visit, and sadly, she sleeps with them.  

“She has multiple men,” she wrote. 

She asked Nairobi Gossip’s followers for advice, saying it has become too much to bear as a grandparent. 

“What should we do? We need help because this is so humiliating to us,” she said. 

Her message left many wondering what truly happens in the hearts of the elderly when loneliness knocks at their door. 

Her post was followed by a flood of similar stories and comments from people. 

“At 60, she is still young. Kindly let her enjoy,” read a comment. 

“You guys are just worried she is getting more dm’s than some of you. Let her have fun, because the best thing is that she won’t bring more kids into the world. She is past that,” said another comment. 

Another comment read, “One of the biggest misconceptions is that the old people do not have urges too, and she’s not even that old. I bet she will keep searching until she finds the right person.” 

Romantic confessions 

One lady confessed that her 70-year-old grandmother has been dating a 25-year-old man. 

When asked about it, she says, “You should thank God you were born.” 

She also adds that she wants to enjoy now while she still has energy because when her strength fades, she won’t be able to anymore. 

Another shared how his grandmother, 72-year-old is dating a 34-year-old. 

He emphasises that nobody cares what she does with her life. 

If the man can satisfy her urges and can keep her grounded for the remaining part of her life, why would we want to take that away from her? 

“How can you let your selfishness drive somebody else into loneliness just because of ‘what other people will say.’ Let that woman live the way she wants and enjoys,” read a comment. 

On the flip side, there is exploitation. 

A social worker in Nakuru revealed that some young men target widows with pensions or land, wooing them for financial gain. “It’s transactional love, not always romance,” she cautions. 

“Some grandmothers lose their entire monthly stipend to these men, who disappear when their needs are met.” 

She states that for children and grandchildren, the shock comes from seeing an image of their grandmother they never imagined. 

The Nairobi Gossip page became a courtroom of opinions. 

Some accused the youth of being disrespectful for exposing these intimate secrets online. 

Others felt disgust, branding the relationships immoral and shameful. 

A minority called for understanding, insisting that old age should not be a death sentence to desire. 

Yet, beneath the humour and disgust lies a deeper conversation that Kenyans rarely confront: “Do older people stop feeling the need to love and be loved, or does society simply force them to bury those needs under a blanket of shame?” 

Dr. Jane Gathoni, a psychologist who works with elderly clients, says the taboo is cultural. 

Elders have feelings 

“In many African societies, a grandmother is expected to be an embodiment of purity, wisdom, and prayer. Anything else is seen as disgraceful,” she explains. 

“We forget that ageing does not erase the human desire for affection or physical touch.” 

Dr. Gathoni states that for some, ageing comes with a burst of new freedom after decades of duty and maybe repression. 

“Many older women say they finally feel free to explore life without fear of pregnancy, community judgment, or marital expectations. It’s like a final chance to taste a sweet they were denied for so long,” she says. 

She further adds that it is also a conversation on literacy and generational roles. 

Many older Kenyans never learnt how to read or write in English or Kiswahili due to historical inequalities. 

“Today, with digital communication being central to romance, they rely on literate grandchildren to read messages they cannot decode. Taboo or not, we argue that it is time society confronts its misconceptions about ageing. 

Dr Gathoni further emphasises that human sexuality does not evaporate with grey hair or wrinkles, but it only transforms. 

“Whether these elderly romances are moral or not is subjective, shaped by culture, religion, family expectations, and personal ethics. But what is undeniable is that our grandmothers and grandfathers remain people with bodies that crave warmth and souls that seek companionship, even in the twilight of their lives.” 

And that, perhaps, is the ultimate question this trending story forces us to ask: If you reach 90, will you not wish for someone to still see you as desirable? 

Or will you willingly surrender your body and heart to the loneliness society deems appropriate for the old?