Hallo Achokis,

I’m a campus girl who has been seeing a certain guy for three years now. The guy is not in school. We have this on and off relationship where we stay for long before talking before he contacts me.

We see each other on holidays. Although he told me he loves me and cannot cheat on me, I still doubt him. Kindly advice 

Our Take

Thank you Campus Girl, you say that you have this on and off relationship where you stay long before talking and have been seeing this guy for about three years.

This is rather strange since whenever people are in a relationship, and a serious one at that, they can hardly wait to see each other and even if they can’t meet for one reason or another, in this era of technology, you will be talking almost daily. There’s Whatsapping, texting or even calling.

Does he visit you on campus? Does he call you frequently? If he doesn’t then something is fishy here. You cannot be in a relationship with someone without having frequent face-to-face conversations.

The relationship is kept going by those frequent conversations, especially at this early stage of the relationship.

Even married people who have been together for a while, will still try to talk to each other from time to time.

When you are in a relationship you will want to take every opportunity to be with or talk to this other person.

The relationship grows based on that and when there’s no communication or you rarely see each other, the relationship dies.

Words are cheap, so no matter what he says, that he loves you and cannot cheat on you, he must match that with his actions.

They say actions speak louder than words. If someone really loves you, then you will be a priority in their life. They will scale mountains, jump all hurdles, make any excuse just to be with you.

But when they only see you when it is convenient to them or they have nothing else to do then something is definately not right. Why does he have to tell you that he’s not cheating on you, could he be doing just that?

Could he be having another relationship and you are just a spare wheel? 

If you doubt him, it is important to follow your heart. Trust is the foundation of any serious relationship and when there’s doubt, then that relationship is being built on quicksand.

Don’t waste your time here or stay here long enough because you will be terribly hurt. It’s time you cut your losses and  move on with your life.

There’s someone out there who will really love and value you. Don’t cheapen yourself, you are worth more than that.  The writers are marriage and relationship coaches —  [email protected]