Kenya is fast turning into a narcissistic society, where self-interest, entitlement and moral hypocrisy have become the order of the day. From self-righteous spouses who demand complete freedom without accountability, a political class that loots public coffers with reckless abandon to megalomaniac churches, the country is witnessing an alarming rise in narcissistic behaviour.

One of the clearest indicators of this narcissistic wave is the shift in marital and relationship dynamics. Today an increasing number of spouses insist on having full autonomy over their lives while expecting their partners to remain accountable.

A growing sense of entitlement has taken root, where people expect to “have their cake and eat it too”, enjoying the benefits of relationships without reciprocating the responsibilities and transparency that come with them. This toxic attitude has created an environment where infidelity, dishonesty and emotional manipulation thrive, further straining the moral fibre of our society.

The political class exemplifies this narcissism on a grand scale. Public servants, elected to serve the people, have turned into gluttonous demagogues who plunder national resources with no remorse.

The theft of public funds has not only become normalised but is now flaunted in the faces of struggling citizens, including vomiting on their shoes.

Corrupt politicians drive luxury cars, build palatial homes and vacation abroad while the majority of Kenyans struggle to put food on the table. Worse, they expect admiration and adulation from the very people they impoverish.

Their unchecked greed, fuelled by a culture that rewards impunity, only emboldens them further. The cycle of corruption is perpetuated by a populace that, instead of demanding accountability, celebrates ill-gotten wealth.

Religious institutions, which should serve as moral beacons, are also falling victim to the narcissistic epidemic. Many church ministers have become embodiments of self-serving piety, preaching morality while exploiting their faithful albeit naïve congregants financially.

The gospel has been hijacked by charlatans who demand endless tithes and offerings under false pretenses, coercing followers to part with their hard-earned money to fund their extravagant lifestyles.

The hypocrisy is staggering, with the faithful they claim to serve wallowing in poverty and wandering in spiritual wilderness. They peddle prosperity theology, promising miracles in exchange for financial contributions, turning places of worship into business enterprises where spirituality is commercialised.

Social media has further amplified this culture of narcissism. Platforms that were meant to foster communication and knowledge-sharing have turned into stages for self-promotion, deceit and empty validation.

Many Kenyans now crave for likes, comments and retweets, crafting online personas that portray a lifestyle they neither earn nor deserve. This desperate need for public approval often fuels reckless spending, dishonesty and even depression when the reality fails to match the illusion.

One of the reasons narcissists thrive anywhere is the existence of echo chambers – support systems made up of family, friends and relatives who fail to hold them accountable. Oftentimes, the worst narcissist in a relationship is the most pretentious pontificator and loudest faultfinder.

These individuals surround themselves with enablers who validate or defend their actions instead of censuring them.

This support system allows them to persist in their delusions of grandeur and sanctimony, never confronting the consequences of their behaviour. Anyone who dares to question or challenge them is quickly labeled an enemy, jealous or simply a ‘hater’.

We need a collective awakening. Relationships must be built on mutual respect and accountability, and not on individual desires and bloated sense of entitlement.

—The writer is a PhD student in International elations