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Self-esteem is simply how you feel about yourself; how you value yourself in view of the perceptions you have about who you are and what you are capable of. Psychologists reckon this as important because it influences a person’s thoughts and actions, and that if you spend time doing the things you enjoy, you’re more likely to think positively. Daniel Ofisi lists a few ways to boost your self-confidence. 

1 Know yourself

Who are you? What motivates you? What saddens you? Why are you driven by one thing, but not another?

Why do you feel upset in one situation and not in another? What are your values and beliefs? Where did they come from?

This introspection is going to be exhausting at first, but once you make it a habit to question every emotion that you have and validate it, you’ll begin to see a pattern.

This pattern will be a map to the source of any negative emotions. Once you find the source, kill it and have no mercy. It has no business bringing you down.

It’s important to be hard on the gremlins that want to destroy you, but you also need to have compassion for yourself.

Never talk down to yourself or abuse yourself. Repeat this process until you know yourself inside and out; until you understand everything you feel and why you feel it.

Then repeat it until you understand everything you do and why you do it.

2 Always put yourself first

I know this sounds counter-intuitive to everything you’ve been taught about being a good person, but if you want to build your self-esteem and keep it for the rest of your life, then the first thing you have to do is put yourself first.

When you do this, you acknowledge that you’re worth it. Do what makes you feel the best without hurting anyone else.

Don’t let anyone call you selfish—they cannot expect you to sacrifice yourself for them.

Asking you to do so means they are telling you that they are worth more than you are, and that will bring down your self-confidence.

3 Surround yourself with positive people

Self-esteem is not only limited to our own internal feelings, but is also linked to the types of people we surround ourselves with.

When we have positive people in our life; people who will support our goal and life journey, we also feel positive and motivated. This in turn helps us to develop healthy self-pride.

Find people who will support you and help you reach the goals you set in your life. 

4 Deal with failure

Basketball legend Michael Jordan once said, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.

And that is why I succeed.” And it’s that kind of mentality (being able to live with failure and learn from setbacks) that helps you build self-confidence, says executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, PhD, author of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.

5 Contribute to a greater course

Low self-esteem can stem from us obsessing too much about our own lives. When you step outside of yourself and contribute to something that is greater than yourself, whether that’s giving to a charity or volunteering your time, it does amazing things for your self-esteem. It makes you feel grateful and appreciative for the life that you have.

6 Practice in front of the mirror 

Do you have a presentation or a job interview to attend? Practise in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend.

They don’t say ‘practice makes perfect’ for nothing. Give yourself time to prepare and even if the outcome is not what you’re after, try not to beat yourself up over it. Learn from it and move on.

7 Exercise to relieve stress 

It’s a well-known fact that exercising releases endorphins and relieves stress, but you need to do it because you want to.

Forcing yourself through some intense exercise regime that you hate isn’t going to improve your mood or self-esteem.

Instead, try different workouts until you find something you love—be it walking, team sports, dancing or yoga classes, and you’ll gain the benefits of it, as well as being proud of yourself for finding a new and exciting hobby.

8 Set mini-goals

Try to break your goals up into small challenges that can be celebrated. For instance, if you are learning to cook, celebrate learning a new recipe each week.

You’ll be more successful in completing it as it’s more surmountable, and you’ll enjoy it more and feel proud of everything you’re accomplishing, hence boosting your self-esteem a great deal.

9 Read books and apply 

Invest in books that empower your personality. It doesn’t matter whether it is a cooking book, meditation book, dictionary, or more, just as long as it will broaden your knowledge and your perspective. Applying what you learn would be the best part of this exercise. 

10 Kill negative thoughts

Negative and pessimistic thoughts can seriously ruin your life and affect your self- worth.

Start seeing the good in everything and even if things go wrong, never stop believing in that four-lettered word called ‘hope’.

So, banish out negative thoughts from your system and see the brighter side to everything. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement and notice the difference.