Children of the current generation can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. While we spent days picking wild fruits and swimming in the river as children, most of us let our children play video games all day instead of enjoying  spontaneous free play.

 During our time, there was the liberty to choose playmates and engage in exciting games. In addition to herding cattle, fetching water, helping with harvesting, and doing house chores, children knew they were born to play. Parents who failed to get hold of their children before they left the house to play would only hope they got hungry and returned before dark.

Children made footballs out of paper and wire cars and walked miles to hills and strange landmarks they discovered while picking guava and mangoes. They often picked fights and settled the scores with their rivals. The only cases that reached the parents were those from older children or gangs against a few. Children had functioning communities and operated in organised governance. They learned to overcome challenges threatening friendships and communities like the “nitafunga na wewe” threats and “babako ako na kichwa kubwa” insults.

Every child wanted to be the best to secure a position at the top of the organisation structure. The owner of the makeshift soccer ball made from plastic papers was the goalie, the kati/stopu ball owner always played first, and the owner of the stuffed dolls was always the mother. This taught children that one must earn positions and success and that they needed others to enjoy what they had achieved. Unlike children today who are caged in houses, children of the previous generations aired their grievances, and sought solutions.

This is, however, not the case for many children today. I have met parents who prefer their children to play in controlled play areas with assistants that ensure they are not bullied or injured. These children grow up knowing there is always someone watching over them to ensure they have whatever they need at the right time. Their parents give them pizza, burgers, soda, and all the junk they come across to make up for broken promises or to reward their children for doing something right.

Video games and jumping on bouncing castles are too soft for children today. In the past, children came home injured, limping, and with blood dried on their knees and elbows.

There was no limit to what game they could play as long as it was not life-threatening. They learned how to navigate life challenges and always had options to solve problems, like applying the croton tree juice on cuts and bruises. These children are the professionals and entrepreneurs that easily fall back to mama mboga, jua kali and bodaboda work to restrategise when things fall apart. They understand the value of starting over, negotiation, pushing on, taking a break, friendships, teamwork, innovation, loyalty, motivation, confidence, and self-worth.

Children today are mostly loners who spend their time glued to their screens and doing full-time schooling. They rely on the protection of parents and institutions. Although some parents cite security concerns, children can still play rough and spontaneous free play while parents, institutions, and government invest their time and resources to ensure every child is safe. Let children play brikicho in thickets as we did, sit on the floor as they enjoy bano game, climb trees to pick fruits, get dirty building mud houses, and practice hair braiding on grass. Let them learn to make a fire during karongorongo games, wait a little longer for breakfast, do chores alongside the house managers, make their beds, and organise the house. These skills will be helpful in the future when you are not around to hand them food, bandage their bruised knees, protect them from bullies, guide them in their interpersonal relationships and help them deal with disappointments. There is no better memory for an adult than childhood play. Don’t deny your children this wondrous feeling.

—Caroline Nderitu is a poet and author of children’s books