Harriet James @harriet86jim

When former senator, Daisy Nyongesa, gave birth to her first son, it was all joy and celebration in her home.

Her husband went ahead and picked her up from the hospital in luxurious cars. Her second delivery was similar.

“This man has showed me love and he has always wanted to prove that he truly loves me.

More so, kuzalia mwanaume ndume (giving birth to a son) in Luhya culture, you are really valued and honoured. I’m aware dowry will be increased soon,” she narrates.

 She adds: “Boys are referred to as Likongwe (sisal boundary). I had two Makongwes consecutively. It’s no joke.

I am protected; my home is guarded and it makes a husband proud and referred to as omusiani (elder).”

Just like Daisy, women have been escorted from hospitals in limos and many have graced our screens.

Award-winning gospel artiste, Kevin Bahati gave his wife Diana Marua a gift after giving birth to their second child, Majesty.

The kuchu kuchu hitmaker proved he is ready to do anything for his wife when he brought a fleet of luxurious vehicles for her as she left the hospital. 

This is just one of the ways men show appreciation to their wives for giving birth, and in many cultures, the level of appreciation depends on the child’s sex. Other spouses raise the stakes high with bigger and better gifts.

Common phenomenon

Just recently, word went round that popular actress Catherine Kamau aka Kate Actress received a brand new BMW X5 as a gift from her husband for giving birth to a bouncing baby girl. 

The renowned couple welcomed their bundle of joy on December 15, 2019 but didn’t let the cat out of the bag.

The actress only revealed this on social media as she thanked her hubby for the push gift. 

 “Every push has been rewarded. God says try me! Do your part! Mama K 2020 lets ride,” the actress wrote.  

Coincidence or not, push gifts, baby mama gift or baby bauble as they are called, have become a common phenomenon.

By definition, it is a gift a spouse gives to his wife to celebrate the birth of their newborn — although friends and family can also give such gifts as well.

The recent phenomenon is said to have began between 2010 and 2012. Since then, it has gained ground, with media coverage of celebrities receiving them contributing to its popularity.

For instance, in 2007, reality star actress Peggy Tanous of the Real Housewives Of Orange County was gifted a Bentley for the birth of their son. 

In 2011, celebrated musician Mariah Carey’s husband, Nick Cannon, gave her diamond and sapphire for the birth of their twins. 

Sadly, this trend has generated a backlash, with some people preferring increased assistance in house chores, or saving the cash for baby care or education as opposed to the gifts.

Others also criticise women who deliver through CS, saying they don’t deserve gifts as their counterparts who have gone through vaginal birth.  

Sociologist Gladys Nyakieo argues that while some people might decry the relevance of such gifts for new mothers, above love, support and sleep it is important that a man shows his love.

In most cultural rites, such as weddings well-wishers come bearing gifts and hence in this important occasion, a mother should feel appreciated. 

Protocol observed

“Some spouses say the present, in most instances, is to appreciate the woman in their lives for carrying their child for nine months and for enduring the changes in their bodies, morning sickness and the difficult birthing process.

Pregnancy is hard work, so when someone gives birth, they deserve admiration and appreciation, whichever way the baby was pushed out,” she explains.

Push gifts can be given to the new mum either prior or after the birth, or just before the mother is discharged from the delivery room.

In traditional societies, a push gift would be jewellery, but of late people have become creative on what to give. Any gift as long as the mother feels loved is appreciated.  

“The present should be so special that when the other looks at it, it should be a reminder of her crossing over to motherhood,” the Sociologist says. 

There is etiquette to observe before delivering the gift. The man should consider the timing and check when the mother is strong and relaxed.

“The man should ensure the mother of his child is relaxed and that  the two of them are alone,” advises Gladys.