Stephen Ndegwa       

The world celebrated Father’s Day on June 20. Although the day is now gaining traction, it is not yet exalted like it should.

At least I was lucky I received a cake from my children. Fathers today know this kind of gesture does not come easily. 

Men’s lobbyists say, Father’s Day “is an occasion for men to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular their contributions to the community, family, marriage, and child care, while highlighting the discrimination against them”.

Now, even as the world ignores or at best downplays the role of fathers in families, we all know the truth is that they are still the major pillars of society. 

And parenting experts believe the involvement of a father has profound effects on children.

A positive interaction between a father and his child promotes the latter’s physical well-being, perceptual ability and competency in human relations. 

Ideally, a conscientious father can help a child demonstrate greater ability to take initiative and self-control.

Societies that are falling apart, like black American families in countries like the US have themselves to blame for male emasculation.

Actually, it is a tough time to be a father today, with all the perennial male bashing that has pervaded society in almost all fronts.

Although they are loath to admit it as men, fathers were already undergoing serious financial, emotional and psychological torture, whose repercussions are now too evident in the high rate of suicides and homicides.

The Covid-19 pandemic was simply a catalyst for aggravating the situation further south.

Many marriages are failing as spouses either walk out on their financially distressed partners.

Thank God if you are broke, but still have a supporting ‘until death do you part’ partner. 

Seriously! Forget the dictum ‘in good times and hard times’. When the crunch comes, that is when the ugly truth falls on many fathers that they are just as good as their next pay check.

Secondly, fathers are also under siege from both the Christian and feminist brigades.

This is definitely a global cynical agenda whose endgame only time will tell.

But if this narrative does not change in the near future, fathers might abandon an institution that has become complicit in their emasculation. 

May be it is the high time fathers broke out from their cocoons and spoke out publicly about increasing marginalisation.

I am talking here about the middle class who are supposed to be the conscience of society. By keeping their cool, fathers are losing control to a conniving society bent on escalating the so called gender wars.

In the majority of family conflicts, the voice of mothers is heard loudest, as fathers shy away from openly expressing genuine grievances.

Moreover, there is also an emerging phenomenon that society needs to take into account.

This is the increasing number of single fathers, as mothers pass on and leave behind children who need continued nurturing, a gift largely and naturally endowed to mothers.

Where are the widowed fathers turning to for the crucial emotional support for their children?  

Conscientious fathers are also adapting to the new economically-driven social circumstances. For instance, many fathers now playing the mother’s role when the latter is either indisposed, or busy doing something else.

Suffice it to say that there are a few rotten apples of neglectful fathers. It is imperative that every father take the God given responsibility for his offspring, whether in or out of wedlock. 

While the foregoing generally depends on the circumstances, one should not abandon his offspring without valid reasons.

The best present my children can give me on any Father’s Day is obedience and success in their education and careers. But I do not mind dark chocolate from them while they are at it!  — The writer comments on international affairs