Hugs. Calls. Silence. These are seemingly conflicting words that somehow express love. Physical touch or even lack thereof can be an action of love depending on what the partner or loved one needs.

Maybe they have had a seemingly stressful day and just need a listening ear. This might not be the time to talk about how great your day was and silence might be the ultimate act of love. It can even be viewed as a sacrifice, especially since we all know how burning some good news can be thereby making it harder to put and keep a lid on it.

So, today we will talk about how our African societies will not say I love you unless under the threat of physical violence or when they are preparing for something eventful such as a surgery or a wedding. I know, very dramatic!

But still, it seems like we are the ones who invented the love is an action not a word proverb. We put in so much thought into creating meaningful experiences for our partners and families and expect them to understand that we love them.

So, here is a short list of things that communicate love even if you do not want to acknowledge it. In the fashion of our African fathers, the people who communicate love in not more than a look or a gruff mmh and look, you do not need to be told you are loved Njoroge.

Can’t you tell by the roof above your head, or by the fact that he comes home to your house and not to Omondi the neighbour’s house, Omondi the baby you swear he loves more than you?

So, coming to your visiting day with just a newspaper under the arm and lots of criticism on your position in class. Love. Giving you his piece of chicken because you are a greedy child and just will not stop staring at him eat. Very much love.

Giving you a stun eye instead of a thorough beating when you practice cuss words that you heard your mates practicing. Still love. Working hard so you never see him as often as you would wish. Love. Skipping work to show up for your big days, all of them, wedding, birthday and the sports day you came in last, yet he cheered the loudest.

All love. Gentle reprimands and not so gentle dress downs, tough love. A lesson in how to act on your first interview and after your first work tiff that almost had you quit. Oh, so much love. Late night calls on how pregnancy is going and a night of vigil as you brought she who would be named after him, or his wife. Verily love.

Call that man up today and tell him you love him. Or better still, send him M-pesa. We know it is not Father’s Day, but you need to celebrate that man who played father every single day.

He might be your biological dad, your big brother, or even an uncle. Give them their flowers today. You know the actions they best interpret as love. Do them.