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There is no one formula for treating anger and frustrations. Different people manage emotions differently. However, how one reacts can lead to devastating consequences. 

Last week, Evans Karani shocked the world when he admitted to mutilating his girlfriend of two years.

Apparently, her mistake was walking away from a relationship she wasn’t comfortable with and starting a new one. Catherine Nyokabi was only 24 years old when she was killed.

And no sooner had Karani asked a magistrate to fast-track his trial and sentencing than a foul smell from a single room in Kambi Moto village in Ruiru, turned out to be a decomposing body of a woman who was living with her boyfriend, who is on the run. 

The stories are long and winding but the base of all of them remains an angry spouse or lover turned killer.

Experts cite trauma and drug abuse as key factors in the brutality, but if only society could manage anger in the face of extreme frustrations some of these callous killings could have been avoided. 

In the past two years, life has been tough for many. Even before Covid-19 put a stranglehold on our lives many people were struggling with unemployment, businesses performing badly, relationships and other social pressures.

When coronavirus landed, it made a bad situation worse. More than two million people lost means of livelihood; those in employment lost jobs while others were forced to take pay cuts in spite of the cost of living having gone up; someone who was productive, in some instances a sole breadwinner, was turned into a couch potato overnight. 

All this coupled with the superficiality of many relationships have tested many unions and many were found to have been built on quicksand.

But as ODM leader Raila Odinga notes: “It is unfortunate that after winning their partner’s heart, instead of going on to cherish and love them, some suddenly turn physical, and at times horrifically end up killing them… If you cannot reconcile, then, leave and let live.”

Learning to walk away from a situation has never made one a coward. Understanding the changing financial situation of a provider and embracing him or her is the hallmark of a fortified union.

Think before you act. There are many reasons to avoid killing or spending life behind bars. 

Lastly, love deeply, love genuinely and find laughter in love. When all else is lost, find solace at home.