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Today, the world celebrates International Women’s Day under the theme “DigitALL: Innovation and technology for gender equality”. 

This theme is aligned with the priority theme for the upcoming 67th Session of the Commission on the Status of Women (CSW-67), “Innovation and technological change, and education in the digital age for achieving gender equality and the empowerment of all women and girls”.  

Indeed, there is evidence of a transformation of girls and women at the grassroots level in terms of education and empowerment. Many are beginning to take on leadership roles in various fields, including politics.

This shift signifies that the role of a woman in families and society in general is no longer limited to the kitchen and child bearing alone as it was decades ago. Women are no longer defined by their ability to cook and raise children only, but have a lot more to offer in as far as matters development is concerned.

Crucial roles

Susan Catherine Keter, a transformational life coach, however says, never has the role of women been restricted to the kitchen and childbearing alone. 

“In traditional African society, women tilled the land, fetched firewood, collected water, gathered wild fruits, berries and vegetables, were often the healers treating every day ailments in the family and the community, taught and trained children and so much more. In some communities, women constructed shelter for the family. Women have always played very crucial roles in society,” says Keter. 

She notes that when the transition from traditional to modern day society that was influenced by western cultures happened, resources were scarce. 

Families prioritised education of the boys over the girls because the latter would grow up and get married thus taking their gifts, talents and capabilities to other families. While making those choices, it was widely believed that the girls who missed out on education would be provided for by the families they became a part of as a result of marriage. They would contribute labour and childbearing in return.

That sort of reasoning led to diminished value of women as they were viewed as property or as not equally valuable in comparison with their male counterparts.

She offers: “Many nations of the world started pushing for equal rights for girls to access education. As girls accessed education, they could access equal opportunities with their male counterparts. Much as there still remains a lot of ground to cover, a lot has already been achieved.” 

Nerima Wako-Ojiwa, a wife, mother of one and the executive director of Siasa Place says women have made great strides and unlike in the past, a majority of them are entering the workforce; and if not the formal sector many are also joining the informal sector, which is a great achievement.

“This is a plus. We definitely need women in different levels of leadership and the executive. Due to the economy, households can no longer depend on one income. Both genders have to find some means or ways of providing for the family. However, it is more stressful for the women since traditionally, the role of taking care of the children hasn’t changed. Mostly, it is women who take care of the children,” says Nerima.

Tough balance

She shares how it becomes difficult for women to rise in their careers because in case a child is sick, it’s the mother who has to leave work to be able to attend to that child. 

She explains: “It’s a tough balance because there are some workplaces that understand that and some that do not. In most homes, you won’t find the dad changing his schedule to look after that child. I want to be clear and state that by the time you are a career woman and have children, every day you have to choose-whether its work or your child. Sometimes you have to measure and decide if it’s not too bad, you are not going to sacrifice that day at work to go and check on your child, but trust your nanny or someone you can delegate to take care of the child. And this hurts women.”

Nerima says as a woman, a lot of times when you are in your early 30s, your children want your presence, yet that is the time you are rising in your career and work is demanding.

She opines: “I think it takes a tough balance and unfortunately it’s not something you can do well unless you are organised. Women can have it all when it’s a different phase of their lives, let’s say when the children are grown and you have the flexibility to choose. We hope to live in a world where the balance will be fairer, where workplaces understand the intensity of motherhood and career, and are able to give you flexible plans or provide other solutions. There is still a lot of work to be done even in terms of technology to achieve gender equity.”

On her part, Nelly Ronoh says with the empowerment of the girl child through education and phasing off of cultural practices, women are no longer confined to being homemakers.

 “I was married at 19 years of age, separated at 26 and legally divorced at 28 with three children and to be honest, it has not been easy. There are many women out there who are suffering the same plight as mine,” she shares.

Nelly who works as a medical ultrasonographer says her marriage broke down as a result of betrayal.

“To say the least, I was devastated. I could hear my dad’s voice vividly warning me against early pregnancy and early marriages. Humbling moment it was… he knew better, he loved me and all he wanted was the best for me. That’s what I understand 20 years down the line,” she says.

Despite her painful past, Nelly says hard work has been the biggest breakthrough. She went back to school and made sure that she not only completed her studies, but did it very competently.

“I have ensured that I live next to my children’s school so that they don’t have trouble commuting. I have a responsible house manager and I also enrolled for a parenting course. I also pray a lot because I believe God is our best anchor. These are just some of the steps I have taken as a woman and mother to ensure that I thrive in both roles,” she says.

She advises women to take time and reflect and be brutally honest with themselves and use their setbacks as a spring board to jump.

Rippling positive effect

“When you fall, its fine. That’s part of life. But don’t allow yourself to stay there for so long. Take time to improve yourself both mentally, spiritually, emotionally and financially. Disengage from negative people and keep hope alive knowing that there is a higher being, a God in heaven who loves us unconditionally,” Nelly explains.

Keter says the emerging roles of women in families and society has a positive impact on families. The improved self-esteem and self-worth of mothers results in children with improved self-esteem and self-confidence for the children. The children grow up to be proud of who they are and to aim high in life.

“Mothers who live a full life are less likely to dump their anger and frustrations on the children as those whose wings have been clipped. Women are able to have the best of both worlds by balancing between career and family. 

“That can be made possible by having a strong support system, outsourcing help for tasks, investing in gadgets such as washing machines, dishwashers, pressure cookers,among others. Living a full life as opposed to having one’s wings clipped is a plus for women, families and society as a whole. 

“I can say that we are gradually coming out of the dark ages for women. We are not yet there, but we are definitely making very good progress,” says the transformational life coach.