Hi Achokis.

I’m a single woman in my late 30s. I’m getting worried that I may hit 40 before getting married.

I’m a serious Christian girl with a good job and is committed to upholding my values.

Problem is, no man seems to be approaching me. Is there something wrong with me?

What do I need to do to attract men without compromising my morals? Please advise!

Our Take

Thank you for your question. Many women find themselves in your situation and are asking themselves, “where are the men?”

It is hard for women as they are the ones to be approached or to be pursued.

The moment men see a woman pursuing them they are confused or think that she is loose. 

So often, women go about it the wrong way ending up being used and abused or getting the wrong man.

Some think that by lowering their values— agreeing to sleep with a man, they can hook the guy.

On the other hand, some of the so called ‘straight girls’ act hard to get in ways that completely put off guys. 

Is it possible to attract men without compromising your morals? Yes, there are three things that a woman can do to make a man go after her without compromising her morals or even lowering her standards.

Be approachable

First, be accessible or approachable. Some women are tough and very independent, which scares away many guys.

Others won’t even smile or agree to have lunch with a male colleague because they think guys only think of sex.

Being warm and inviting makes you approachable. Occasionally accepting a lunch offer or a coffee date will enhance your chances.

Of course, it’s important to be cautious where you go, what time and with who. Do not be too uptight, that this is it.

When it comes to with who, the adage don’t judge a book by its cover applies here.

Many women write off a guy simply because of how he’s dressed or looks, not wanting to give them a chance to see deeper. 

Dress to kill

Secondly, be attractive! Men are attracted by what they see. If you don’t dress to kill and spruce yourself up a bit, how do you expect them to notice you?

Your being attractive draws guys to you and makes them want to be with you. A word of caution; as much as you dress up well, try not to be flirtatious.

You still need to carry yourself around with some dignity and remember that inner beauty also counts.

Men are attracted not just by the outside appearance, but also the heart (character).   

Thirdly, be in the right places where they can see you. If you are never socialising with people, how do you expect them to approach you?

Marriage and relationships begins with friendship. With the busy lifestyles we have, you can also try some good dating sites and see how that works.

However, take precaution if you have to until you finally meet the guy in person – The writers are marriage and relationship [email protected]