Former first lady Michelle Obama discussed stepping back and making time for herself on a podcast released Tuesday, addressing her recent absences from political events and rumors of marital troubles.

Speaking of her life eight years out of the White House with two adult children, Obama said on the “Work in Progress” podcast with actress Sophia Bush that she now has the opportunity to control her own calendar and can now make “a choice for myself.”

“I could have made a lot of these decisions years ago, but I didn’t give myself that freedom,” Obama said, “Maybe even as much as I let my kids live their own lives, I use their lives as an excuse for why I couldn’t do something.”

She continued: “And now that’s gone. And so now I have to look at my — I get to look at my calendar, which I did this year, was a real big example of me, myself looking at something that I was supposed to do — you know, without naming names — and I chose to do what was best for me, not what I had to do, not what I thought other people wanted me to do.”

The former First Lady notably skipped President Donald Trump’s second inauguration, as well as the state funeral of former President Jimmy Carter in January.

She went on to discuss the guilt of saying no and how her recent choices to step away from certain responsibilities raised rumors of a possible divorce from her husband, former President Barack Obama.

“I still find time to you know, give speeches, to be out there in the world, to work on projects. I still care about girls’ education. We, you know, the library is opening in a year from now. Certain things I am and am not doing with the library,” Obama said.

She continued: “That’s the thing that we as women, I think we struggle with like disappointing people. I mean so much so that this year people were, you know — they couldn’t even fathom that I was making a choice for myself that they had to assume that my husband and I are divorcing.”

The Obamas have been together for 32 years, according to a post from the former president on X in October.

The former first lady has been open about how Barack Obama’s political ambitions and time in the Oval Office was tough on their marriage, writing in her book “Becoming” that it resulted in loneliness and exhaustion.

Since leaving the White House, Obama has spoken out against Trump and campaigned for Vice President Kamala Harris last year.

Deep contempt

During one campaign stop in Michigan just days before the 2024 election, Obama said: “Please, please do not hand our fates over to the likes of Trump, who knows nothing about us, who has shown deep contempt for us.”

She added: “Because a vote for him is a vote against us, against our health, against our worth.”

Despite stepping back from some responsibilities, she emphasized that she remains engaged in meaningful work, particularly around girls’ education and the upcoming launch of the Obama Presidential Centre.

“I still give speeches, I’m still working on projects I care about,” she said. “But now, I also make space for myself.”

Powerful message

Michelle Obama’s remarks underscore a powerful message about self-care, agency, and the often-unspoken guilt women feel when choosing themselves -even after decades of service and sacrifice.

Michelle previously opened up about her marriage during an interview with Revolt TV, in which she said of the effort her and her husband put in: “There are times I’m 70, he’s 30. There are times he’s 60, I’m 40.”

She also said “there were 10 years” where she “couldn’t stand” Barack, but added: “I would take 10 bad years over 30. It’s just how you look at it.”

According to Michelle, the issue stemmed from a realisation that the couple’s marriage wasn’t “even” at the time, as she noted that she was taking care of the children and her husband was embarking on his political career.

Headed for divorce

According to Page Six, a source who once worked with the couple said of the rumours their marriage was struggling: They don’t pretend that they have this Camelot relationship. They’re not trying to present that they’re this magical couple.”

While rumours surfaced that the pair were headed for divorce, due to Barack attending high-profile Washington DC events by himself, another insider said this was merely due to the fact Michelle had no interest in going to the US capital.

In December 2022, Michelle said that, for a marriage to work, even in times of struggle or disagreement, you’ve “got to know your person” and “like” who they are.

“I mean, you could be mad at him, but do you still look at him and go: ‘I’m not happy with you, but I respect you. I don’t agree with you, but you’re still a kind, smart person,’” she said, before noting “feelings are going to change over time,” and that that is when couples need to put work into their relationships”.                              –