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As we embark on the New Year, we need to reflect on the last one before making goals for the new one.

Otherwise we may make the same mistakes we made in our relationship last year that brought us where we are now. So often we are quick to make goals for the New Year without looking back.

There is power in reflection, looking back  as we move forward, otherwise we will keep doing the same things and expect a different result. We need to go back to some moments that greatly affected our relationship. 

It is not enough to know what happened, but more important is to know why it happened, so that we can deal and address underlying issues.

Then we can plan how to deal with them, thus removing obstacles that may hinder us from moving forward.

So often when people hear that Grace and I have been married for 24 years, they are in awe.

However, as much as I appreciate the longevity of our marriage, I’m also not ignorant of the fact that you can be married this long without much experience.

You can have actual 24 years experience of bliss, or you can have one-year experience for 24 years. What do I mean by that?

There must be some element of growth in your friendship with the years of marriage.

To move forward and for the two to not only continue to remain one, but thrive being one, we need to remind ourselves of when we first fell in love.

What are some habits that helped our relationship grow and which habits have we developed along the way that are detrimental to our well-being? 

Where have we relaxed and where do we need to be more intentional to continue growing and having a healthy relationship?

Who can help us in this journey? How can we ensure we maintain a healthy relationship?

Let us determine that this year, we will be better than the last. Let’s determine that in 2020, we are going to connect and communicate more with each other and to spend and do more things together as a couple.

That way the two will continue to not only be, but also thrive as one.