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Someone asked, “What are the worst mistakes men make on social media?”  I said, “Taking selfies.” Women take selfies in bathrooms, while waiting for a matatu at the bus stop, when watching a movie and eating. They’ll do things such as post a photo in traffic, with a caption, “Morning people, crazy traffic.” And leave you trying to connect the relationship between that photo and the traffic.

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I’ve tried taking selfies before. To be honest, I felt uncomfortable and bad about it because it always takes several tries to not look stupid, and even so, they all looked stupid. I have since stopped trying. Methinks selfies have given a false impression to women that the most valuable thing she has to offer the world is her looks.

Don’t get me wrong, feeling pretty is nice, but ‘check out my face, or lipstick or new hairstyle’ is not an accomplishment. It’s just some shallow attention seeking. So, when I find it disturbing seeing a man taking photos of himself, now you know why.

There is nothing masculine about a man in a bathroom trying to find his best light. The thought of a grown man retaking a photo 20 times until his chin looks great is more than disturbing. I mean, what would a man be thinking when posting such a photo? Seriously, guys, you’re better than that. Real men never actually take their photos. His WhatsApp profile picture would be his dream car and it’ll take years to change.

His Facebook account has only three photos, he didn’t even pose in either of them. One when he joined nursery or first birthday, second a photo of his driving licence—selfie is acceptable here. And last, but not least from their wedding day—to be specific when saying the vows. Period.

Nothing says ‘pay attention to me!’ more than the one who will change his profile pictures more than his girlfriend or wife. Or the one who keeps sending people his photo.  I find such neediness and craving for attention unmanly.

Real men know what they look like, they don’t need your validation. Women want a man who’s in control and has a good head on his shoulders. But taking a shirtless selfie in your bathroom mirror doesn’t exactly portray that, and anything good for that matter.

Have a run-in chance with your favourite striker? Take that selfie by all means. Standing in front of a mirror in your suit with your phone ready? Just take a walk son. Walk away.

Views expressed here are those of the author