I’m tempted to take back an ex hubby who cheated on me
By Achokis, March 12, 2025Hi Achokis. I separated from my husband of 15 years five years ago. He cheated not once or twice, but several times with two different women. I couldn’t stand it. He got a child with one of them.
So when we separated, he went to live with his baby mama. Of late, he has been trying to reach out to me. Whenever we meet, he acts cordial. I hear rumours that things are not okay with the other woman.
These recent happenings have left me confused. On one hand, I’m still bitter with him, and on the other hand, I want my marriage restored. What should I do?
Thanks for seeking help. Separation and divorce can be devastating to one and can leave you in so much pain and bitterness, especially if you are the one wronged.
We hope you have sought therapy for your own healing before you even think of restoring your marriage. If you are still hurting and suffering from the effects of what happened, you might not be in a good position to make a subjective decision. You will either shy away from working things out because of what happened to you or you may quickly allow this guy back into your life because you don’t want to continue being lonely and being labelled a divorcee.
As for your husband, you must ascertain why he is now trying to reach out to you. Could it be that the other woman has thrown him out and so, he doesn’t have a place to go?
Is coming back just because he is guilty of abandoning his children or is he genuinely seeking for a reconciliation and restoration of your marriage because he has realised his mistakes and found that the grass on the other side wasn’t green after all. If he seriously wants to come back, then check his motives and let him demonstrate that he is genuine in his intentions.
Don’t assume or go by the signs he is showing. If he deliberately reaches out to you, give him an audience and hear what he has to say. Don’t be under any pressure from him, his or your family and friends, or any other quarters to get back together. If it is not done well, you may end up in a worse situation than before.
Restoration
Even if from what he tells you, you realise he is remorseful and has learned his lesson, make sure you involve both families and a professional to help you go through a restoration process. Involving both families is good as it puts him under good pressure.
A restoration process under a professional counsellor is necessary as it helps you both psychologically. The commitment and time taken will help you be in a better state emotionally to make the decision as to whether or not to have him back into your life.