The average age when menopause hits is 51 years (45 to 55 years), though quite a number of women can experience it while in their 40s. But what happens when menopause knocks before its time?

Modern Family spoke to women who experienced this unsettling situation and how they managed to sail through the stormy waters.

Jane Wangui, a 53-year-old woman discovered that she had early menopause at the age of 35. Lucky for her, she had already given birth to her two children.

“At 35, I started getting hot flashes, my periods disappeared, and I was experiencing mood swings and insomnia,” recalls Wangui.
For Wangui, at that time, she was not aware that she was going through a major transition in her reproductive system, so she decided to consult a doctor.

“After assessing me, the doctor told me that I was experiencing early menopause. I was shocked because I knew that it was supposed to start from the age of 45-50. I was shaken but after talking with the doctor, I slowly accepted my situation,” Wangui says.

Other than the many uncomfortable symptoms that one experiences during menopause, for women planning to conceive, the most crushing thing is the fact that one can no longer get pregnant.

Gradual period

Priscilla Chelagat, also experienced early menopause at 39.

Like Wangui, she experienced similar challenges that pointed towards early menopause.

“My parents never talked about it as they were conservative. I suffered in silence,” Chelagat says.

When it first started, she had no idea what was happening to her.

“I used to hear that our periods would stop at some point but I was not sure at what age. So when mine stopped coming for like a year, I was troubled. No one prepared me for it. In search of answers, I went online and started Googling the symptoms I was experiencing. I was shocked when my search pointed towards early menopause,” she says.

Other than the physical symptoms, she also suffered psychological challenges such as mood swings, irritability and forgetfulness.
According to reproductive health experts, menopause is when you’ve gone 12 months without a menstrual period. It can cause physical and emotional symptoms.

According to World Health Organisation, for most women, menopause is marked by the end of monthly menstruation (also known as a menstrual period or ‘period’) due to loss of ovarian follicular function. This means that the ovaries stop releasing eggs for fertilisation.

Lucy Murage, a counsellor trainer concurs that menopause is the point in time when a woman’s menstrual periods cease permanently. It is a natural stage in every woman’s life, usually occurring between the ages of 45 and 55. It signifies the end of a woman’s reproductive years. Perimenopause is the transitional phase before menopause. A woman is considered menopausal after 12 months without a period.

“Common symptoms include hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, mood swings, difficulty sleeping (insomnia), irritability, brain fog, changes in menstrual cycle, decreased libido and joint pain,” she says.

Feelings of self blame

Depression is also common, driven by overwhelming symptoms, unsupportive partners, or societal perceptions equating menopause with ageing and loss of desirability.

The combination of vaginal dryness and decreased libido can impact a woman’s intimate relationships, potentially leading to feelings of self-blame and deepening the cycle of emotional distress.

Since menopause is marked by drop in estrogen hormone levels, gynecologists recommend hormone replacement therapy to manage the hormonal imbalances.

“Low self-esteem can also result due to the woman feeling unattractive. Menopause does come with weight gain, which is sometimes difficult to shed off. The mood swings and irritability can affect the woman’s social relationships as people would not understand what makes her react to situations by lashing out,” Murage says.

While menopause presents numerous challenges, it also offers an opportunity for women to embrace self-awareness and personal growth. There are several ways to navigate this transition with resilience and confidence.

“In order to cope with the challenges that come with menopause, women should gain as much information as possible on the subject. Knowing what is happening and why and even anticipating the changes can help one understand and appreciate what is going on,” she says.

She also advises women to consult experts such as doctors and gynecologists who can help them understand what is happening to them.

Seek therapy

Talking to friends, family members, or support groups can be invaluable. Sharing experiences fosters a sense of solidarity, reminding women that they are not alone in this journey.

Going for therapy can help women explore their feelings as they share their experiences in a safe space where they will not be judged.

Counselling also gives women an opportunity to explore coping tools and mechanisms, giving them a sense of stability.

“Self-awareness is key. Knowing your body, emotions and thoughts help in one owning these, leading to less self-blame and an acceptance of self,” Murage says.

She adds that finding healthy ways of dealing with this stage of life can be helpful. Lifestyle changes such as regular exercise, a healthy diet, stress management and adequate sleep are recommended.

New chapter, new season

Relaxation techniques such as meditation and yoga and drinking herbal tea, can mitigate insomnia.

Rather than viewing menopause as the end of youth and vitality, it should be embraced as a transformative stage that marks the beginning of a new chapter in a woman’s life.

By breaking societal taboos, increasing awareness, and fostering open discussions, it is possible to shift the narrative surrounding menopause from one of fear and shame to one of empowerment and acceptance.

Murage emphasises that women should prioritise their well-being, seek support, and take proactive steps to make menopause a positive and manageable experience. With the right mindset and resources, menopause can be a period of growth, self-discovery, and renewed strength.