Where’s the place of commitment in today’s marriages?

Recently, I was having a conversation with an elderly couple whom I sat at the same table with during a wedding reception.
We talked about many things, but one of the questions that kept coming up was why our young people are not staying long in marriage.
Some of the reasons they give for quitting marriage seem so trivial compared to our mothers, who stuck it out and endured a lot in their marriages.
Some of the things they went through, our young couples would have given up much earlier had they experienced even half of that.
Well, times have changed, as they say, we are living in a new dispensation. Women have become empowered and now know their rights as opposed to the women of yesteryear.
Today’s women are financially independent and can survive on their own. Our mothers were totally dependent on our fathers, and so, they couldn’t leave their marriages, no matter what.
“Nimuache niende wapi?”, they would ask. “Nani angekulipia fee kama ningewacha baba yenyu?” (Who would have paid your school fees if I left your dad?)
No wonder the advice, vumilia tu! (just endure), Women give their daughters in weddings.
But their daughters don’t just want to endure their marriages. They want to enjoy it, and nothing is wrong with that. Why get stuck in a relationship where you are suffocated and can’t breathe?
Of course, the number one purpose of marriage is companionship, and if you cannot enjoy each other’s company, how will the marriage survive?
As the world puts it, if you cannot engage with each other emotionally and enjoy being together, then why stick together?
We have to admit that today’s women are also more enlightened and aware of not just their rights, but also of their financial and emotional needs.
One would then ask, where then is the place of commitment?
This is it, this is what we are missing in today’s marriages. And so, whereas it’s critical for the two to enjoy being one, enjoy their companionship and communion, they need to remember that it takes commitment for the two to remain one.
This commitment calls for high levels of resilience after difficult times in the marriage.