Maryann Njambi knows too well how hard the pain of losing a child hits. She lost her firstborn daughter, Mobese Kashama in March 2020 and the grieving process has not been easy. Memories of her daughter are still fresh in her mind. 

“We are coping with the loss of Mobese by just accepting that it can’t be undone as we seek God more,” says the 44-year-old. 

Even with the demise of her daughter, Maryanne still calls herself a mother of two; Mobese, who died aged 20 and Faith Njuguna who is 13 years old.  

Mobese’s health challenges started when she was 15 years old. She had gone for a church camp, which had lasted a week. “She came back with a cough, which couldn’t go away. We treated it with some antibiotics, but after completing the dosage, she developed oral candidiasis (sores on the mouth, throat and tongue). We took her to Melchizedek Hospital along Ngong Road where she was admitted. Blood tests didn’t reveal any underlying condition. After three days, she was discharged and continued to take the drugs prescribed. However, she drastically lost weight, which alarmed us,” Njambi recalls. 

Health challenges

Later on, Mobese underwent a sputum test. An X-ray was also done. She was diagnosed with lung tuberculosis and was put on treatment, which was to last for six months. However, after the six months, the condition relapsed and was advised to continue with medication for another six months. After that one year, she developed holes in the lungs, a condition called aspergillosis. She was given some drugs, which were only managing the condition since the lungs were damaged. 

“By December 2019, the drugs had damaged her nerves and she developed Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS) a rare, autoimmune disorder in which a person’s own immune system damages the nerves, causing muscle weakness and sometimes paralysis. She couldn’t sit, stand nor walk and her spine was damaged. She had to use diapers and had wounds all over her legs. She was now at her worst,” narrates Njambi.  

Njambi watched her daughter take her last breath in March 2020, a painful and sad moment. “I still remember that fateful day. It was on a Wednesday. We called an ambulance when Mobese’s condition deteriorated. The medics tried to resuscitate her, but in vain. We lost her. We buried her on Saturday of the same week,” she reveals.

The memories

 The grieving process, she says, hasn’t been easy as the memories are still fresh. Njambi says: “Mobese loved taking photos and we still have a lot of her pictures. She had such a huge impact in our lives as a family. She used to hold prayer sessions to make us ask for forgiveness from God, we held thanksgiving sessions to thank God for His blessings and also sang hymns. Sometime my daughter, Faith sounds like her. We kept her clothes, which fitsFaith. Faith saw death with her own two eyes and now she knows it’s real. At first, it was difficult for her to cope in school and adjust with the things they used to do together. For now, I can say she is much better and has some peace.”

The church played a big role too. “Mobese loved attending church retreats and camps. She used to tell me that she found peace there and felt God’s presence. When she passed away, the church really supported us both spiritually and financially,” says Njambi.

She misses everything about her daughter. “We have been friends, confidants and enjoyed each other’s company, growing in love and giving each other strength to face life hurdles. Watching her carrying out the roles of a firstborn diligently, enjoying her responsibilities to her younger sister and embracing feminism was so impressive,” she recalls. 

Careerwise, Njambi who pursued Interior Design at Evelyn College and worked for various companies such as Panesar, Fairdeal Furniture, Furniture Palace and Tiles and Carpets, all along Mombasa Road, took up modelling when Mobese started having health issues. 

Coping with loss

“I was fired since my performance at work was negatively affected.  I opted to do something that wouldn’t require me full time so that I could also get time to look after my daughter,” she says. 

The first fashion house Njambi worked for sent her pictures, which were shot at Arboretum, Nairobi. Through those pictures, she started advertising herself to other fashion houses and that is how she has kept her modelling career going.

“For now, I don’t have a full-time job as I had taken time to grieve Mobese. The pain of losing my daughter is still fresh, but I have to be strong for my remaining one and keep pushing,” she says. 

“Through modelling, I have gained more confidence as I also inspire my daughter to believe in herself,” she adds. 

Her future plan is to empower herself even as she empowers Faith to pursue her talents, which are modelling (runway and commercial, singing, dancing, drawing and acting and to be Mobese’s voice since she wanted to be a TB ambassador. Having suffered from TB, she knows the pain says she wouldn’t wish anyone to go through the same.

“My advice to parents is; create time for your children. Cherish every moment you spend together and listen to them as they express themselves. Also, don’t ignore your child’s mental health,” says Njambi.

Njambi who is a single mother enjoys a cordial relationship with her baby daddies. I gave birth to Mobese in 1999 at the age of 22. Mobese’s dad relocated to the UK. “We hadn’t married officially. He was my boyfriend in my youthful days. I later got married in 2006 to another man and got Faith, my second child. 

However, we divorced in 2011 and from that point, I embraced raising my two daughters alone,” she shares.

“I have never tried to be a father to my daughters. I have always allowed them to communicate with their dads. As a mother, I embrace my role as a nurturer,” she says in conclusion.