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Kenyan celebrities have turned social media platforms into a place where they run to wash their dirty laundry, especially in regards to parenthood disputes. More often than not, they have roped in their innocent children who at their tender age cannot defend themselves from the shame being caused by their parents on the web.

In some instances, these parents contravene court processes by discussing disputes that are already before the court. The most recent social media catfight drama is between prominent Nairobi lawyer Silas Jakakimba and his baby mama Beryl Akinyi. It all started when Jakakimba posted on his social media pages that his son had been “kidnapped” by the mother.

He said Beryl had stormed into his house while he was away in Kisumu and kidnapped the boy while in a company of a group of women. “My son was maliciously exposed to trauma until 10pm last (Saturday) night when I picked him up. I’m told there’s a video the team of women who kidnapped him sent viral when they clung to him in my residence (sic),” he wrote.

In self defence

However, the said mother to the minor came out to defend herself and refuted the claims of kidnapping her own child. Beryl said her son was sick and she had only gone to take him to the hospital.

“I’m being threatened for speaking up my truth, if anything happens to me then Silas Jakakimba should be held responsible. Just for the records, he’s a licensed firearm holder. #MyLifeIsInDanger (sic),” she posted on her page.

But Jakakimba and Beryl’s drama is not new, as this was not the first time the two were taking to the social media to rant over their co-parenting indifferences. In June 2021, he accused his baby mama’s lover of physically attacking him at his son’s school.

This happened a week after comedian David Oyando aka Mulamwah took to the social media to disown a baby with his ex-lover Carol Sonnie. Mulamwah said the less than a year old toddler he had earlier claimed to be biologically his was actually not his blood and accused Sonnie of cheating on him, hence the baby. His claims came after a series of accusations, counteraccusations and blame trading between the exes, with Sonnie claiming Mulamwah was just bitter and still leaving in denial of her decision to quit the relationship. 

The culture of exposing the relationship dramas involving children seems to be taking root in Kenya’s celebrity scene. A similar scenario involving comedian Eric Omondi and former TV girl Jacque Maribe might be still fresh on most of the Kenyans minds. The comic laid it bare for the all and sundry, giving a blow-by-blow account of how Maribe’s son was sired during a one-night stand that happened after a company’s night party.

Kenyans will also not forget how Churchill Show comedian Jemutai publicly accused her fellow comedian Professor Hamo of being a deadbeat dad who had abandoned his two children. And while the parents smear each other and come for each other’s throats, children are the most affected lot.

Mental torment

Life coach and psychologist Keziah Mwangi says children caught up in such mess suffer mental anguish and may end up depressed if not rescued from such disputes. She adds that while the children might not be aware of the rift happening on social media because of their young age, they will one day find out how they were at the centre of their parents disputes.

“Internet never forgets; it will remind them that they were at the centre of a fight and it is going to affect them negatively,” she tells Spice, noting that public rejection of children by a parent cultivates anger and the desires to revenge on the guilty parent.

“How do you think Mulamwah’s daughter will feel when she grows up and sees on social media that her father denounced her? (If at all he’s the father). Her life will never be the same,” she adds.

In some instances, the child might seek solace from people or things that will make them forget their troubles such as drugs, crime or even pornography. Mwangi says custody or parental indifferences should be solved privately between the two parties.

High court advocate Willis Oluga says the law is clear on how children matters should be resolved, especially when it comes to co-parenting. He says despite their minor age, children have a right to privacy that should be guaranteed by their parents whether married or co-parenting.

“And when parents air their dirty linen in public or social media, they are contravening the Constitution. They are failing in their own roles as parents,” he says, adding that aggrieved parents should thrive in resolving family or custodial issues amicably without involving the public through social media. He says when the parents “invite” the social media, they should be ready to have their children judged harshly, ridiculed and insulted.

“The parents might not be affected by these insults, but the minor who is growing up will be mostly affected. If negotiations have failed, the courts are always open to resolve any misunderstandings. Instead of going to social media, seek legal redress,” Oluga advises.

If the matter is already in court and one party exposes it to the public, he adds, the aggrieved party can sue the exposing party for contempt and seek to bar them from discussing their parental disputes on social media.