Why MP refused to donate masks, sanitisers in my ward

MCA Gwinso

Whoever said a politician will always be there when he needs you must have had our MP in mind.

This man never misses an opportunity to publicly display how charitable he is. 

Just like me, he harbours ambitions of becoming the governor come 2022. He, however, knows that he can only win that seat if I am not in the race.

That is why he is always looking for an opportunity to put me down. 

Well, he can do whatever he wants out there, but for him to come to my ward and drag my reputation in the sewage is tantamount to a declaration of war. This is exactly what he did on Easter Monday.

It all began with a strong rumour that our MP was among the parliamentarians ordered to go on self quarantine- he had been missing in action for almost a month.

Eager to prove that he was a free man, he announced that he was going to distribute face masks and sanitisers. What irked me was that he chose my ward as the venue for his display of benevolence.

 To add insult to injury, he did not officially invite me for the event! I was not going to allow him to crow in my ward, so  I decided I was going to attend that function with or without an invitation.

I alerted my sidekick, Mokonyonyo Spoiler, to get ready for any eventuality.

“Mheshimiwa, I suggest that you don’t attend the function openly,” said Moks.

“What do you mean?”

“Let him not know you are there.”

“Why?”

“That is the best way of knowing your rival. You will get to know what he says behind your back.”

“How will I attend without being seen?” I asked.

“A face mask. Just put on a big one that will cover most of your face. Then wear sunglasses.

Nobody will recognise you,” declared my chief advisor. I saw some sense in the whole plan and we both agreed to attend the MP’s function incognito.

On that day of the event, we arrived at the venue before the MP did.  Everybody was wearing a face mask. Although I could recognise a few people, nobody appeared to have recognised me. The disguise was working perfectly well. 

We stood patiently waiting for the guest. Next to a makeshift dais was a pick-up truck loaded with the donations.

A short while later, the benefactor arrived accompanied by a retinue of hangers on. They were all wearing face masks on which the MP’s name was printed. 

“Karibu Mheshimiwa Gavana mtarajiwa,” said the emcee as the MP strode onto the dais waving to the people. 

“We now call upon the representatives who were invited to line up and receive the donations from Mheshimiwa.” A long queue was quickly formed, with people observing the one metre rule. 

“Bwana Gavana mtarajiwa , the people are now ready to receive the gifts, Sir,” said the emcee. The MP stood and uncovered his nose and mouth.

“Who is covering this event? Where are the media people?,” he asked no one in particular.

“I am not going to give out these things if the media is not here. Hata microphone hakuna. Jamani hii si ni madharau?” He glared at the people around him. It was however difficult to tell their reaction from their mask-covered faces.

“I know this is the work of that kaMCA of yours. He has told the media people not to come here. He does not want the world to know that I have donated these things.”

I felt something burn inside my belly and turned to look at Mokonyonyo. He however looked calm. 

Continued the MP: “That MCA has a snake in his pocket. That is why he cannot put his hand inside there and get something to give to his people, even during these hard times. Ati he wants to become governor! Ashindwe!”

Not able to take it any longer, I ripped off my face mask, removed my sunglasses and approached the MP. However, before I could reach him, I was restrained by a number of hands.

“Who invited you here,” the MP asked. He was clearly shaken.

“This is my ward and I have a right to be here,” I replied.

“Ok, if it is your ward, look for your own stuff to donate,” he said and then marched to his vehicle which was then driven away, followed by the donation-laden pickup. 

I am now fighting off accusations of being a saboteur.  Nitawezana? – a.otieno@pu.ac.ke