One demanding job with no pay!

For Holly Rahman, parenting is not a future endeavour one can put on hold. The father of two, with a burden to ease the plight of single mothers, shares  what inspires him to care for such mothers

Growing up, Holly Rahman witnessed how his mother struggled to bring him and his six siblings up. For most of his life, especially his teenage and adult life, he was raised single handedly by his mum after his dad passed on. And so Holly vowed that when the time comes for him to start a family, he would give it his all.

Holly says having responsible parents is important to any child. “I’ve experienced how being responsible for another human is a lifetime opportunity. I must say my children are blessed to have great mothers who adore them,” says Holly whose two children are born of different mothers. His daughter lives with his baby mama in Tanzania, while he lives with his son here in Kenya. However, the 28-year-old loves his children aged three and four equally and takes care of them. 

And how is he bringing up his children to be different and unique? “There’s no universal formula. The most I do is spend time with them as much as I possibly can. Because then, I get to know them better and teach them ways of life. But in all honesty, we just do the best, God does the rest,” he says.

The most challenging moment for Holly, who is also an artiste is balancing between his career, and being there for for his children. “Both are important and demanding. And the children are growing fast—so parenting is not a future endeavour that you can put on hold for the meantime, it has to be done in the present,” he says.

“It is not easy bringing up a child, and I believe it takes a village to raise one. It is demanding. It is a fulltime commitment, mostly with no pay, and no off days too. And in some cases, no appreciations as well, sadly,” he says.

It is in appreciation of his mother and other single parents that Holly has started an outreach programme; Early Childhood and Day Care in Nairobi. It caters for mothers around Umoja, Nairobi, but Holly says he wishes to spread it to other regions. “Single motherhood is not easy. The biggest challenge for most young women who are raising children on their own is how to hustle without worrying about the safety and wellbeing of their children. This is what our outreach programme offers. A place where children can stay while their mothers go about their duties,” he says.

He adds: “As they say, the way to change the world is through individual responsibility and taking action,” he says.

Depressed mums

To fund the programme, Holly recently ran a campaign on depression with a theme song Paro, on all major online platforms. All sales of the music will go towards supporting the initiative, which has attracted about 100 partners.

Holly who also at one time struggled with depression says studies shows single mothers are at a higher risk of mental illnesses. According to a study by the Journal of Affective Disorders, single mothers reported higher rates of depression and anxiety symptoms compared to partnered mothers. “Financial instability, lack of social support, and any history of maltreatment – commonly shared features with single parenting, are to blame. Maybe it’s the demands of balancing everything by oneself that heightens the risks,” he says. 

However, it is the presence of the children that actually saves the parent from self-ruin. “You learn to live because another innocent life depends on you and entirely you,” he adds.

He adds: “My rallying call is; could you take 15 seconds to check up on someone today? What if those 15 seconds could make a friend see another day? Maybe this could be the one last time you dared? The one last time you cared? The one last time you shared? Everybody needs someone they can reach out to. He or she might not be able to afford a shrink, but if only there was someone who cared enough to ask, to check up on them, to call, it might just save a life,” adds Holy. This was the birth of Holly’s #ONELASTTIME Campaign to help victims of depression.