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Josephine Mugure shares the ups and downs of being married to renowned artiste Jean-Pierre Nimbona aka Kidum

How did your love story begin?

I was Kidum’s biggest fan— that has not changed to date. I enjoyed his music and so I would follow him wherever he went to perform; Rafikiz, Psys, Rangers, Off-road you name it. I did not know him in person, but I would always keep up with his schedule. So this day, in August 27, 2010, my friends and I were watching him perform at Rafikiz and he spotted me. I was not those types of fans who got too excited by his presence, I had never even asked for a selfie with him, so I guess he got curious to know more about me. He called me aside and we had a small chat. He then asked for my phone number.

What attracted you to him?

To be honest, I was not attracted to him. I just enjoyed his music. I also was at the lowest point in my life; I was going through a painful break-up and attending Kidum’s concerts gave me unexplained consolation. After I gave him my number, he called me the following day (Thursday) and asked if we could have lunch, I declined and rescheduled to Saturday. We had lunch at Psys on Lang’ata Road, and that was the beginning of my attraction to him. He was charming and funny. And of course, the fact that he was a talented musician made it so easy for him (chuckles).

Describe Kidum.

He is a multitalented musician who can play different instruments including the guitar, keyboard and drums. He composes his own songs and is the bandleader for the Bodaboda band. He is a father to seven children, five from two marriages that did not work out. 

How did your family receive news of your relationship with Kidum?

My family did not support the relationship. They believed musicians have bad reputations. They also judged him by his failed marriages and asked what I would do differently to make our marriage work that the other women did not. They were also worried I had no idea what raising children means. 

Are the children living with their mothers?

Kidum has never given his baby mamas the burden of raising his children. He is a responsible father, provides for them and they all go to good schools. Kidum will do anything to be with his children. Burundians believe children belong to their father. He always lets them visit their mothers with everything taken care of. His eldest child is 24 years old and lives and works in the US. Kidum made arrangements for him to go there so he can support his mother back home.

That means you have been raising the children with him?

Yes. I got married to Kidum in 2012 when the youngest child was five years old and in nursery school, fourth child was in Class Two, the third in Class Five and the second born in Class Six. I have been raising the children as if they were my own.  We blended well as I am always interested in everything they do. Kidum and I have two children. My first child was born in March 2015, three years after we got married. I did not want to rush into getting babies before establishing a relationship with our other children. My second born was born in June this year. 

Any challenges of step parenting?

There is a lot of stigma. It is hard to find an appreciated step mum. They will always blame you for spoiling for others. No matter how good you are, there will always be naysayers who will have unkind words. On the children’s part, of course there are moments we have clashed because they are in their teenage years, but I always make a point of having a conversation with them. And when I gave birth to my two children, they accepted them and have been helping to take care of them. 

What are some of the pressures of being a celebrity’s wife?

You get to share his attention with everyone. Mostly, Kidum gets attention from women and to be honest, there are moments I get jealous. But once you understand that it is business, it becomes part and parcel of you. Another challenge just like any busy businessman, we don’t get to share quality family time with him. He is always busy out there fending for us. Sometimes it gets lonely.

Many celebrities are all about showing off their spouses. However, you have stayed away from the limelight. Why? 

I value my privacy. Once people get to know about you, you lose your life. There is a lot of fake life in the limelight, I’d rather live a normal life, such that if I walked or jumped onto a nduthi while running an errand, I don’t get people talking. People, sometimes, can get so judgmental and not all of us have shock absorbers to handle Internet trolls. I am comfortable being his wife and mother to his children. After all, he is the celebrity, I am not. I don’t enjoy being famous. I have his attention, that is all that matters. A few times, however, I have found myself trending on the blogs though (chuckles).

What was it about?

On May this year, my husband posted a photo of us on social media while I was heavily pregnant with our second baby. The bloggers went bonkers and the headlines were by all means distasteful. One headlines said, “Kidum expecting baby number seven with a different woman.” It implied all Kidum’s children are by different mothers! I got messages from all over, with some people who know me sarcastically sending congratulatory messages. Anyway, all said and done, for those who would like to know a little bit about me, I am100 per cent Kenyan, born of Meru mother and a Kikuyu/Masaai father. I was born and raised in Bungoma county.

Married to a Burundian, but living in Kenya, have you considered integrating into Burundian culture?

Oh yes, there is quite a distinction between our culture and theirs. The people in Burundi, for example, believe in sharing one plate when they eat. We do the same in my house, everyone including my husband and the children eat from the same plate.

I am also trying to learn their language, Kirundi. I can gather five out of 10 Kirundi words in a conversation. On special occasions and when we travel to Burundi, I dress in Imvutano, a traditional Burundi dress.