Experts estimate we spend about 47 per cent of our waking hours in a daydream, momentarily distracted from the world around us as we let our mind wander. However, it is upon an individual to make daydreaming work for or against him/her.

It is said that the world belongs to the dreamers, the people able to visualise what they want, how they want it and then going after it.

While this is true, some people tend to be wonderful dreamers and excellent non-doers.

They remain steeped in the world of their day dreams that they have no time to bring that world into being.

This was in a recent discussion where a few colleagues and I were discussing what the difference between productive daydreaming and harmful daydreaming is.

 The common consensus was that the line is at the point where one seeks umbrage in daydreams whenever things go wrong.

Like fantasising about what a perfect relationship would look like, every time a new relationship sinks instead of actively dealing with the emotions, or fantasising about a time when one will be free from financial woes in a grand house and with grand cars instead of doing the needful and toiling towards that grand house.

 But what do the experts think about this? Can daydreaming be harmful, and if so when and why? Firstly, what is daydreaming?

Bad or good daydreams

Ken Munyua, a leading counselling therapist in the country describes daydreaming as the act of indulging more in thought at the expense of the present happenings.

It’s common to get lost in your thoughts every once in a while. Experts estimate we spend about 47 per cent of our waking hours in a daydream, momentarily distracted from the world around us as we let our mind wander.

If your daydreams are so intense that they interfere with your daily life, however, you may be a maladaptive daydreamer.

“Daydreaming is fairly common. We all do it and at times without realising it. A whiff of your mother’s cooking can instantly transport you to your mother’s kitchen, that is a daydream.

Seeing someone win the lottery can make you think of how it would feel to be them, with a large cardboard cheque and millions in the bank in front of so many cameras and lights.

That is still a daydream. Even imagining yourself in a bad accident after experiencing one is a daydream albeit a negative one.

The trick is to be self-aware enough to know when you are daydreaming, how to stop it and how to cultivate it for good,” Ken says.

Mindful meditation and scheduled daydreaming sessions are some ways that one can daydream though in a controlled environment.

This way, one is able to reap more good than harm from the daydreaming sessions. 

Jackline Gathu a leading psychologist in the country agrees with Ken on that daydreaming is a double-edged sword.

“It is not a bad thing to daydream, unless it becomes a coping mechanism for you to escape responsibility for your actions or to avoid facing your situations,” she explains.

She further elaborates that it is human nature to tell ourselves stories that make us feel better about ourselves and the situations we are in. Daydreaming helps us plug into that need.

It all boils down to the power of thoughts and the effect they have on our overall mood, feelings and actions.

The more you do something, the more it becomes ingrained over time. This means that while one cannot control thoughts as there are always countless thoughts bouncing around in the head at any given time, one can control what they think about consciously and over time, this will influence their subconscious thinking patterns.

Being cognizant of the fact that we can control our thought processes and our feelings is the first step towards leveraging the power of thoughts and daydreams. 

Dangers of daydreaming

While we are not socialised or taught on how to control our thoughts, Jackline posits that this is a necessary skill to have as it allows someone to clearly sift through the positive and negative thoughts, pick what to replay and what to not focus on and just let them slide.

But the main danger of living too much in your head is missing out on the present and drifting through it subconsciously instead.

She differentiates daydreaming from rumination in that the first could be both positive and negative, while rumination is largely negative.

Rumination involves obsessively mulling over past events, past highs, past conversations for a prolonged period of time.

Thoughts influence our behaviour and feelings and are largely subjective as they are a person’s idea of events and are not necessarily grounded in truth.

They can be immersive such that one loses a clear picture of current events. To help combat this, Jackline advises for someone to muscle their body into the present.

“Whenever you find yourself different, find things that engage your senses. Find five things you can see, five things you can touch, five things you can smell, five things you can hear and five things you can taste.

This will get you out of your head and into the present moment. Practice this. Review your day and any unresolved issues at select times of the day to curb unresolved issues and daydreams occurring at inopportune times.

Be mindful and present. Write down your thoughts and try to interrogate them. You should be able to work on this by yourself.

But if you are unable to be fully functional or if your day dreams occur so often you cannot function properly, see a psychologist to help understand your thought processes and help you become productive once again,” Jackline sagely advises.