How I almost missed Anti-Corruption Day celebrations

The sense of urgency in the governor’s voice last Tuesday evening was unmistakable.

“Bwana Gwinso, come to my office now,” he breathed on phone. I sensed it was about the planned impeachment motion – which had failed to take off anyway. 

You probably remember the list that circulated that was purported to contain the names of MCAs who wanted the governor impeached, and that my name was at the top.

You know that all this was the work of some malicious minds out to build a wedge between me and the governor.

So when the county boss ordered me to see him, I knew we were not going to have a friendly chat. I made my way to his office prepared for the worst.

“Bwana Gwinso,  I was right when I said you were one of the most dependable MCAs we have in this county.”

The image of a cat playing with a mouse before devouring it came to my mind.

“Tomorrow is the International Anti-Corruption Day, and I want us to do something unique as a county,” he said, to my relief. He went on to explain the importance of portraying our county as the epicentre of the war against corruption.

“I want us to have a brief but widely publicized ceremony where I will unveil a huge billboard announcing our stand on corruption.

Fundis are already working on it, and tomorrow morning, it will be mounted at the town centre, ” he declared. 

“That is excellent, Sir,” I said.

“The reason I have called you here, Bwana MCA, is that I want you to speak on behalf of all MCAs.

I chose you because so far, you are among the few ward reps untainted with any corruption scandal.” My heart glowed with pride at this compliment. 

I also saw this as my moment of glory. To give a speech in this well-publicised event would obviously put me miles ahead in the 2022 gubernatorial race. 

Later at home, Mama Hirohito could not hide her amusement when I told her about the event. “Ok, Mr Clean MCA,” she said as I was preparing my speech.

“I hope you are not leaving very early. My uncle is passing by here on his way to Nairobi for the Jamhuri Day celebrations. He wants to see you over an important issue.” 

Early Wednesday morning found me ready for the International Anti-Corruption Day events.

I however could not leave the house before the uncle came. Mama Hiro would not allow that.

It was not until 9 am that the guest sauntered in. After a prayer that seemed to last ages, we finally settled down to small talk.

My repeated glance at my watch did not move the man. He talked on and on. My phone rang.

It was the governor. He was worried that I had not arrived at the venue.

“I have to go,” I told the garrulous man.

“Ok, my son. I know you have heard that they want to tax dowry. I just wanted to remind you to clear yours to avoid taxation,” he said leaving me perplexed. I read the signs, ‘sorted him out’ and took off for the function. 

With very few minutes to the start of the function, I drove at break neck speed to town, only to encounter a traffic jam.

Remembering that where there is a wheel, there is a way, I steered the vehicle onto the sidewalk and drove on. A few metres ahead, I found my way blocked by a police motorcycle.

“Sasa unafanya nini,?” asked the burly cop.

I explained everything as honestly as I could, including the uncle’s visit. The cop just looked at me expressionlessly.

“Hata kama wewe ni MCA, unasemaje sasa,” he asked. I just stared at him. I was dying with impatience. To my disbelief, the cop walked away leaving the bike across the walkway. 

A motorist stuck in the jam beckoned me and advised me give the officer my driving licence with two one-thousand notes tucked inside. I did that, and it worked magic.

My way was opened and I drove on the walkway all the way to the anti-corruption function. 

This is a totally Corruption Free County, screamed the huge billboard with a huge portrait of the governor smiling benevolently. After unveiling it, the county boss introduced me as a shining example of a clean MCA.

I read my speech and led the sizeable crowd in taking an oath never to engage in any corrupt deals.

To my disappointment, the mainstream media did not report our event for reasons best known to them. Sijui walitakaje! – a.otieno@pu.ac.ke