KENNEDY OSANO became a dad when he was in Form Three. Now at 31, his daughter is 13 years old. He takes us through the journey of raising a child as a young single dad including how their relationship raises eyebrows when they are in public. 

Sandra Wekesa @wekesa_sandra                              

Their daily routine entails doing homework and studying, cooking various cuisines ranging from African to Italian, playing jenga (a building blocks game) and also, going for evening walks around the neighbourhood.

Looking back, Kennedy Osano, wouldn’t wish for any other gift than that of watching his teenage girl grow into a responsible and humble girl.

To him, fatherhood is a lifetime responsibility with its challenges, sweetness and bitterness and he is glad to walk through it as a single parent. 

He had met the mother of his daughter in 2006 when they were both in secondary school. He lived in Naivasha, she was in Nairobi.

But during the holidays, he would visit his uncle in Nairobi and often would spend time with her.

But it wasn’t long before she showed up in his school with a bulging stomach. He was in Form Three. He had nothing. But he decided he wasn’t going to deny his blood.

Though it was challenging, he proved to be tough and resilient. He adjusted to his new fate and became a paragon of docility and diligence. 

A few months later, a princess was born and they named her Mellisa Levian Lanaya. At first, she stayed with her mother.

After his secondary education, things changed for the better when he got a job as a messenger at a local bank.

He was paid enough for him to save and enrol at a university to pursue an undergraduate degree, which propelled him to move up his career ladder. 

Full custody

“I was there by my baby mama’s side all along both physically and emotionally, but when I got a stable job, I could afford to lead a decent life without struggling. I also longed to be closer to my little princess and spend more time with her,” he says.

During school holidays, Mellisa would often visit her father and spend several days before leaving for her mum’s place.

At first Osano didn’t know how Mellissa’s mum would react to having him take full custody over their daughter, but he decided to do it anyway. Also, Mellisa’s mother had already moved on and married someone else.

“I was determined to get her to stay with me, so I talked to her mother and we came to an agreement that Mellisa would visit her during the holidays.

It wasn’t hard since I had always stepped in and played my part even while my daughter was with her,” he says.

Though he was not a stranger to his daughter, when he started living with her in 2018, they had to start learning each other — learning what his daughter liked and vice versa. 

The 31-year-old father says raising her became easy with the support of his friends and family. Also, his baby mama is supportive and is always a phone call away when her attention or guidance is needed.

Osano is determined to raise his girl into a disciplined and responsible individual.  

But despite the merits that fatherhood has to offer, their biggest challenge is the 18 years age difference, between them. Often, especially when in public, people eye the duo suspiciously. 

“She has grown so fast. Sometimes when people see a young girl in the backseat and no adult woman in the passenger seat, they raise eyebrows.

At times I have been questioned and even forced to pull out her birth certificate just to prove my point,” he says.

He makes sure he is in the house in time to have dinner with her and limit the number of guests that come to the house.

“Sometimes, a man just needs a quiet place, a beer on his hand; watch his favourite football team play (Arsenal), eating whatever he decides or not eating at all, and spending the night anywhere. However, all this drastically changed,” he says

“My biggest challenge is having the sex talk with Melissa— talking to her about boys, her body changes and why she has to shuttle between her mum’s place to my place.

But I take her through this, helping her understand we both love her and wish the best for her,” he says.

Fatherly advice

As his only child, Osano has made sure that her interests come first. His parting shot to fathers is to instill the desire for success in their daughters.

“I make sure she grows up knowing that her success is solely in her hand and the world will only elevate her to her platform of success, discipline, empathy, modesty, self-belief and respect for authority and those who are older than her will keep her on that right path,” he says.