We need a change of mindset among the Kuria on FGM 

In the Kuria community, conversations around Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) often focus on women as the face of the practice even though, the real power, the quiet but firm authority, often rests with the men. 

Behind closed doors, its fathers who make the final call. Its husbands who set the standards for which kind of girl is marriage material.  

And sadly, its men who continue to shape and sustain a culture where a girl cannot make decisions regarding her own body. 

Many men in the Kuria community claim they prefer uncut girls, yet when it comes to marriage, they almost always choose those who have undergone the cut.  

They believe that cut girls have a lower sex drive and are more likely to be faithful in marriage.  

It’s a disturbing belief, one that reduces girls to objects of control and submission. What’s even more outrageous is the hypocrisy, the same men who marry cut girls in the name of fidelity often have affairs outside their marriages.  

They want faithful wives at home while enjoying full freedom themselves. 

Fathers too, play a major role in FGM. In most Kuria households, when a father decides that his daughter should be cut, no one dares to challenge him. His word is final.  

Mothers might object silently, girls might be terrified, but once the father has spoken, the rest of the household follows.  

And when it comes to marriage, some fathers wont allow uncut girls to marry into their families.  

They view them as disrespectful and unworthy of being wives. This is the power dynamic that continues to rob girls of their choices and futures. 

To truly end FGM in the Kuria community, we must stop treating it as a problem for women to solve alone.  

Men must take responsibility, not just for the decisions they make, but for the silence they maintain.  

Fathers must choose to protect their daughters instead of offering them up to outdated traditions.  

Husbands must stop valuing scars as signs of loyalty. Communities must stop rewarding pain with approval.  

Change will only come when men begin to question harmful beliefs, speak out against injustice, and choose to stand on the side of girls rights and dignity.  

Until then, every tradition that excuses harm is just another weapon used against the futures of our girls. 

The writer is a Youth Advocate NAYA Kenya 

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