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The term emotional intelligence (EI) can be defined as an individual’s capacity to recognise and manage his or her feelings and those of others.

Parents, guardians and teachers should endeavour to develop EI in children from an early age so that they eventually become empathetic grownups. There are several strategies that can be employed to foster EI in children.

You should at all times strive to encourage an honest and open discussion about how the child is feeling. Many times, little children do not understand what they are going through.

It is upon you as the grownup to help the child know whether it is sadness, frustration, anger, loneliness and so forth. You may even try using visual aids like emotional facial expression flash cards for this purpose.

Make the child feel free to express their feelings without fear of being judged. Acknowledge the child’s feelings. Make the child know that you understand his position but you may not necessarily agree with it. Being understood will make the child feel better when he does not get what he wanted. This is known as validation and empathy.

Teaching your children to ‘put themselves in someone else’s shoes’ encourages them to be more kind and understanding when they interact with others. In order to train your children to be more empathetic, talk to them regularly about emotions – discuss how their actions and words might make someone feel.

Children will develop empathy by experiencing it from others. Be a good role model. Demonstrate empathy as a grownup, both in action and words. Use story books with relatable characters and real-life examples that the children can relate to. Practise active listening and teach the children how to actively listen to others without interrupting them. Create scenarios where children can role-play different situations and relate them to their own real-life experiences.

Allow your child to freely express their emotions. It will help him accept his emotions and be able to manage them. They should understand that it is normal to have feelings and express them without hurting others. They will develop self- control and coping mechanisms.

Our feelings move through the person, get hold of the person and then fade away and so is a child’s feelings. You should listen to your child’s feelings and allow them to go through the process. When emotions are suppressed, they get stuck inside rather than being expressed in a healthy manner. It is common for growing children to throw tantrums once in a while. Tantrums are a natural way to help children vent their emotions. We need to help children feel safe to express their emotions.

Children should be taught that even as they express their emotions, they should do so within certain acceptable limits. Train your child to breathe through their emotions, to feel them and tolerate them without the need to act on them. There is a need to learn to express their needs without attacking another person. Allow your child to explore ways of solving their own emotional problem. Do not be tempted to rush to solve it for them.

An emotionally intelligent child should be able to take responsibility for their actions and know that it is necessary to sincerely apologise to the person they have wronged. Children should be taught appropriate words to express remorse.

Developing emotional intelligence in children has several benefits. It makes them more resilient to life’s challenges and setbacks – they are better prepared to cope because they will have developed tools to manage their emotions effectively. It improves their self-awareness and they are thus able to forge and sustain healthy relationships with good interpersonal skills. They are able to manage conflicts with their siblings, friends and classmates through solving their disputes amicably.

— The writer is a Business Management Consultant and Author of the book This Is DAVE