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Are you in an exciting new relationship? Here is how to do it right.

Focus on the present, not the past. This is important because we tend to bring past hurts and fears into a new relationship. If your ex cheated on you or hurt you in certain ways, you may find yourself being hyper-vigilant about your new love. This anxiety and defensiveness can prevent you from enjoying the present moment with your current date. On the same note, during your first few dates, focus on getting to know your partner better as opposed to spending the time venting about your past failed relationships.

Make sure that you are attracted to the person and not the idea of being in a relationship with them. You may want to be in a relationship so much that you focus more on being in a relationship as opposed to focusing on finding the right person.

Communication is key

Don’t avoid the bedroom talk. Talk about sexually transmitted infections testing, sexual history, pregnancy prevention and if the relationship is exclusive.  Discuss your likes and dislikes and what you are comfortable with. Listen to you’re his/her preferences without judgement. Discuss the right time to start being intimate, for both of you.

Talk about the future early on. You may not discuss the number of children on date one, but it is important to know each other’s long term goals. You don’t want to find out that your bae doesn’t want children or that they never want to get married, two years into a relationship. Talk about relationship deal breakers and whether you are both looking for short term fun or a long-term relationship.

Don’t have important conversations over text. You may use text messages to check in on your partner or to share funny memes. However, have important conversations face to face or on a telephone conversation.  Serious discussions include sharing feelings and sorting out disagreements.

During the first few dates, resist the urge to put up appearances and appear ‘better’ to your new love. Try to be yourself, as much as possible. Don’t pretend to be what you are not. This could save you from ending up with a person who is not right for you.

Make up your mind to enjoy this new relationship.  The beginning of a relationship is the honeymoon phase because of how intense your attraction is, to each other. This phase always seems like it will last forever. Try not to allow the anxiety and fear of the unknown to spoil your magical first moments together. Remember, red flags are not suggestions. They are signs of reality. And reality won’t change just because you wished it away or ignored it.