Two weeks ago, I wrote here that you do not need to have kids because of societal pressure.

My peers and older generations gave me a ‘criminal offensive’ side-eye, wondering why in the world of Kasongo would I be thinking like that.

I still maintain that some of us rush to make these big decisions without thinking clearly about the future and that’s where we go wrong.

One of the reasons many people are planning to have kids is that they hope by the time they are aged, their kids can take care of them.

This negates the fact that our parents took care of us because it was their responsibility, and even in that, it was out of love.

They could have chosen not to. Know any deadbeats around?

If you do not already have a child and hope that your children will take care of you when you are old, it is time you start managing your expectations.

One way to do that is to start saving for your retirement. This way, the burden of caregiving won’t fall on your children.

What would happen, God forbid, if your child/children are not well-off financially to support you?

Nowadays people can live up to 10 years with an illness only for them to die when a lot of money has been used in medical bills and caregiving.

Would it be fair for you, someone who can easily shape their future, to expect an ideal situation while putting the responsibility on others when you can do something about it?

In their book, The Inspired Caregiver: Finding Joy While Caring for Those You Love, Peggi Speers and Tia Walker write, “Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn’t know possible”.

The quote suggests that caregiving might look like a set of tasks or responsibilities, but it is more than that. It is about finding compassion and love that a caregiver might not have known existed.

It creates a new bond between the two, enriching their connection. It is thus odd to expect to be taken care of from a point of responsibility rather than that of love.

This proviso might seem okay, but it is also a guilt-tripping technique. It says that as my child, whether you are in a position to or not, you must take care of me.

It takes love out of the picture and only allows for people to do something because it’s supposed to be done. Is that how you want to be taken care of?

Before your child comes to help, what are you doing to make sure you have an easy old age? I had a conversation with a friend recently, and she asked me if I save or invest.

I would have been defensive, but I listened. She went ahead to say she has never heard me talking about crypto or trading, yet my peers seem to do these things.

While my interests don’t fit these two activities, the point she was making was I was not taking any personal initiatives to invest in anything, let alone save money.

I would not be shocked if you, dear reader, are in the same bracket as myself.

Yet, you know for sure, at some point, you will sire children. And while there are many factors to be considered when it comes to caregiving, I think there are things you can start doing to make it easier for you and your caregivers.

It is time we started being responsible first, before anyone else. Assuming you want to have children someday, how are you planning for that?

— The writer is the founder of Tabasamu Concept, a community that creates spaces for Gen Zs to network, unwind and spread positivity