With the General Elections in six months time, we can say we are in a political season. Recently, we were warned of a political earthquake that was to happen during the Amani National Congress (ANC) National Delegates Congress. Whether indeed it was an earthquake depends on what side of the political divide one is and how one interprets the happenings of that day. But for the One Kenya Alliance (OKA), the happenings of that day greatly shook the alliance

There are two lessons that can be learnt from the happenings of the ANC. The first is that we should be brutally honest with each other in our relationships. Two of the coalition partners walked out in a huff on the realisation that someone else had walked into the party. The relationship that was there was threatened by the new relationships that were being formed. It was like being in a relationship with someone only to discover that they have been seeing someone else all along.

Betrayal and deceit are the order of day in politics, but in marriage and serious relationships, we should be honest and loyal to one another. We should put all our cards on the table, hiding none beneath the table like politicians do. But so often in relationships, we cheat on each other, not realising how hurtful and damaging this is. We should always put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and ask ourselves how we would feel if we discovered that our spouse was lying to us?

Secondly, do not jump from one relationship to another – what we call a rebound relationship. Because of our hurt, we may react by quickly jumping into a relationship without first taking stock of the impact of the break-up. We take break-ups so casually, not taking or allowing time for us to heal before beginning another relationship. We don’t properly grieve the loss of that relationship or process our hurt with the help of a therapist. We just move on, no wonder we have such dysfunctional relationships where we are so insecure and struggle to trust each other.

For two to be one, and continue to thrive so, we must, therefore, be truthful with each other and be whole as one before becoming one with another.