Learning on the job that is motherhood

When she gave birth to her first child in 2017, Wangeci Wandere, aka Mama Muthoni, didn’t know that she was just about to unlearn all that she had ever learned about motherhood. Prior to that, she had birth preparation classes, but none prepared her for the emotional aspect of motherhood.  

“Before I became a mum, all the things I heard were to the effect of how beautiful motherhood is, how wonderful and fulfilling it is, how one will overflow with love and how one had never experienced love until they become a mother. But when I became a mother, I realised how challenging and difficult it was,” narrates mama Muthoni. 

She realised that even her elder relatives couldn’t assist her as much as she had hoped.

“I went to visit my mum one day and one of my aunties was at home. She sought to find out how motherhood was treating me, to which I replied it was difficult. To my surprise, she concurred with me and shared how even though her last born was 21, she still recalled the challenges she went through and asked me why people were not  validating my negative feelings,” says Wangeci. 

Ups and downs

Inspired by the incident, in 2017, Wangeci began talking about motherhood on social media and soon she discovered that she was not alone in the process.  She realised that there was a huge gap and that people were not talking about the realities of motherhood.

“Sometimes you resent your husband, there are a lot of negative feelings mothers have and nobody validates them, so they end up feeling alone. But I wanted to show mothers that they are not alone in the process,” explains Wangeci who runs TheMothershipKe page on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. 

In 2018, she became pregnant again. She had a difficult pregnancy and had  postpartum depression and had to seek treatment. She also started sharing her struggles on her YouTube channel.  

“I got postpartum depression after my second child. A few weeks after giving birth, I realised things were not okay and my gynaecologist sent me to a psychiatrist to begin therapy. My symptoms got better, but did not go away till the last quarter of 2020,” recalls the mum blogger.

 In 2019, she met her friend Ciiru Ceera, a lactation consultant, who advised her to consider being a lactation expert and taking a course in it. 

“My friend was repeating exactly what my husband had been telling me to do. He saw that I was spending too much time on supporting other women and not enough time growing my business and career, which was food production. So, he made me take it seriously and encouraged me to get certified. I enrolled for a course in lactation and nutrition in 2019,” she recalls. 

It took her nine months to complete her studies. In 2020, she further enrolled for a four-month-course  in child nutrition. 

“The lactation course was so scientific for me, especially because I wasn’t into science subjects. However, I loved the information I received and how it is helping me impact people. Most importantly, I discovered that there are a lot of misconceptions and misinformation and the fact that mothers are not getting enough support during their pre and postnatal phase. Mums are not empowered and taught enough on lactation,” explains Wangeci. 

Sharing knowledge

The lactation expert is now keen on empowering mothers and mothers-to-be and urges her clients to take information seriously and further empower other mothers in their lives. This, she believes, is how the information can be spread. She also has a cook book, Little Foodies that has 150 recipes and about 120 of them can be cooked for the entire family. 

“That means from the same pot, you can use that food for your baby, by for instance mashing the baby’s portion,” she continues. 

With her books, she desires to be a local resource that mothers can relate to. 

“I started writing the book in August 2021 and completed it on March this year. But earlier in the year I had a cancer scare and had to travel to India. It has taken a lot of work, because it is self-published, but it has been such a fulfilling journey,” she narrates. 

With time, she also began teaching mothers on baby-led weaning, which is something new for many mothers in the country. She found herself supporting young mothers on motherhood, especially on breastfeeding. She also offers Sensory Play lessons, which is all about hands-on activities that invite your child to explore with her senses — including touch, sight, smell, sound and taste. In addition, she does child nutrition consultancy, speech therapy, child psychology as well as sleep training.  At 40 years of age with two children, Wangeci does not regret the career path she took. 

“I feel fulfilled empowering mothers. This new career has also helped me in my life because I do not feel alone. The platform is creating a community of mothers to navigate this journey with,” she says.