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Waithera Otieno

Does parenthood mean the end of bedroom fireworks? When you leave the maternity ward, does the tag mother influence how sexy you are? How do you balance body changes, midnight baby cries, house chores and a vibrant sex life?

Couples will often experience a change in their sex life after the babies appear. You started out as two people and suddenly, the number turns to three, then four and then five.

This increase corresponds with increasing responsibilities and demands on one’s energy and time. Before you know it, you go from having sex three times in one night, to having a quickie two times a month.

Bedroom fun can be affected more if the couple decides to sleep with the baby in the same bed. If the mother gets too overwhelmed with mothering to recreate an attractive self-image and environment, her husband, who is visual, may have trouble differentiating between his lover and the mother of his children.

Fatigue, the pressure of taking care of a child and other everyday responsibilities can result in complete loss of energy and interest in intimacy. Loss of physical intimacy drives couples apart in the long term.

To avoid turning into roommates after birth, make a point of prioritising romance and intimacy sessions. As soon as the mother is healed, she needs to get back in physical shape by managing her weight and wearing attractive clothes. Her sweetheart needs to be supportive and understanding.

Showing her love and affection even when she is not able to be her sexy self will motivate her to be his lover. The mother also needs to remember to give some loving attention to her man. She needs to whoop out her sexy lingerie to remind him of the good old times.