How Deep State frustrated our Covid-19 funds probe efforts

Although our governor does not think highly of me, my colleagues in the assembly do. 

No wonder I was voted into the ad hoc committee to look into the use of Covid–19 funds in our county.

I was elated to be included in the  team, not only because of the sitting allowances: This was also a perfect opportunity for me to get back at the governor.

I was sure the Corona funds had been used inappropriately. Perhaps you recall MCA Matayo telling me in confidence that the governor had lent him some of this money. 

My joy was made complete in our first meeting when I was elected chair of the committee. 

“Members, we will waste no time, remember we have only two weeks to do our work,” 

I said on assuming my new position. MCA Chonjo immediately shot up. “Bwana Chair, first things first.

What are our terms, yaani, what are the rates? Ama ni kazi ya kanisa?” 

This gave rise to murmurs. Apparently, he had voiced what was in the mind of most members.

“Order!” I bellowed. “It is unfortunate that we are already thinking of emoluments before we even do a work plan. Let us talk about the task ahead. Money will come later.”

MCA Violata, leader of the minority, gave me a look reserved for the irredeemably deranged. “Tusidanganyane hapa,” she said.

“It is only after our terms are clear to us that we will know how much effort to put in the task.”

“OK, members, I will consult with the speaker over the matter,” I said.

“Call him now,!” roared MCA Chonjo. I made a phone call and put the phone on loud speaker mode for the sake of transparency.

“Bwana Gwinso, you will be paid as per the provisions of the standing orders,” came the speaker’s voice. 

“Afadhali,” breathed Violata.

We then got down to business. Our first task was to identify sources of information, and we all agreed that the county executive in charge of finance and planning would be our main source.

“Bwana Chair, we must also summon the governor himself since he is the chief executive,” said MCA Violata, whose loathing for the county boss was a notch higher than mine.

This was music to my ears. The thought of grilling and pinning down the county supremo was thrilling. 

“I think Violata’s suggestion is perfect. We will have the governor here,” I declared.

“No way! We cannot subject the governor to questioning. That is insubordination,” said MCA Chota. 

“Insubordination my foot,!” squeaked MCA Violata. “Kwani yeye ni Mungu?” There arose a furore and for a moment, the meeting was in disarray.

To settle the matter, I decided to put it to a vote. It turned out that majority of the members wanted the governor summoned. 

MCA Chota then rose to speak. “Well, if that is what you people have decided, I am out of here,” he said and made for the exit.

He then stopped mid-way, turned back, gave us a fiendish look and declared, “Mtajua Deep State iko.”

Undeterred, we continued with the meeting. We agreed on the itinerary and the dates.

“We will also need risk allowance since we will be coming into contact with many people,” said MCA Chonjo.

Before I could answer, the door to the meeting room was pushed open and there stood two men in white lab coats.

“Waheshimiwa, we are from the county Covid-19 surveillance unit. We have received reports that you are not adhering to the laid down protocals, and we can now confirm it.”

I realised for the first time that we were not observing social distance and that most of us had lowered our face masks to our chins.

“Consequently, all of you will have to go for self-quarantine for two weeks, failure to which we shall be forced to take you to our isolation centre,” the man declared. 

The silence in the room was deafening. Quick thinking told me only the governor could help us out of this situation. I called him to explain what had happened.

“But is it true you were not observing the protocols,?” he asked.

“Sir, we had our masks on, but due to the size of the room, we were not able to strictly observe social distancing.”

“In that case, you have no choice but to do as they say. Self- quarantine for two weeks.”

“But Sir, we need to give a report in those two weeks.”

“No problem. You can work from home.”

So now we are to conduct investigations on the Covid-19 funds from our homes. Aje sasa? – a.otieno@pu.ac.ke