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It is the dream of every young ambitious girl to enrol in school, perform well in her exams and become successful in her life.

This dream is what Cecilia Kwamboka, 33, had while she was growing up.

However, along the way her dreams and aspirations came to a halt when she decided to drop out of school at the age of 19. That was in 2006.

 “My brothers didn’t want me to socialise with any person of the opposite sex – it was immoral according to them.

In case I was found talking to a friend of the opposite sex, I would be whipped thoroughly by my elder brother who was my guardian.

He didn’t even want me to participate in co-curricular activities in school. I felt like I was in prison,” she says. 

Kwamboka’s  parents lived in Masongo, Kisii, their rural home, while she stayed with her brothers in Menyikwa, a market centre four kilometres away from home.

“My parents always believed in anything my brothers said. This made me feel ignored and unloved, yet I had no one to turn to,” Kwamboka says.

 “It was in 2006 when I was in Form Three that I decided to run away thinking it would be the best escape route from my brother’s harsh treatment. Little did I know what I was getting myself into,” she adds.

In the process, Kwamboka was lured into an early come-we-stay marriage that would later break.

“The first days seemed all rosy and promising. We shared fun and happy moments.

But this would only last for a short time after which my husband started having extra marital affairs,” she says.

“There were several times that I tried to call it quits, but my mother wouldn’t let me.

She would tell me that a strong married woman should be prayerful and patient— this made me to hang on.

However, one day my husband came home with a woman. I prepared them a nice meal and then we took tea together.

We had a long conversation and in the midst of it, my husband dropped the bomb shell and said that the woman would become his second wife.

She spent that night in our home, on our matrimonial bed. I was shattered and my heart was broken into pieces.

Feelings of love for him were replaced with betrayal and so I decided to seek for a separation from the chief’s office.

This was on the November 23, 2015,” recalls Kwamboka.

Self-discovery

Their marriage had lasted nine years. She left with her two children who are now aged 13 (boy) and 11(girl).

After the separation, Kwamboka began the journey of self-discovery and redefining herself. “I rented a house.

I didn’t want to go back to my parents’ home for fear of being ridiculed by my age mates.

I felt much at peace with myself. The children were also at peace since there were no more fights and quarrels,” she says.

At this point, Kwamboka decided to accept a job offer as a matatu conductor in order to sustain her needs and those of her children.

She worked for two months before quitting. “My ex-husband, who was a mechanic had links with owners of several public service vehicles in the area.

He confronted my then boss and told him that his driver had taken away his wife (me).

I decided to quit because I didn’t want the driver to lose his job,” she recalls.

“I have faced a number of challenges as a single mum, but I thank God for friends who supported me both financially, spiritually and emotionally.

Financial challenges were the worst since the children needed food, clothing, shelter and even education,” says Kwamboka.

In 2017, Kwamboka decided to chase her dreams of going back to school. She enrolled at Senior Chief Musa Nyandusi Kegati Mixed Secondary School in Kisii county and joined Form Two when she was 30 years old. 

Valuable lessons to children

She offers: “Despite my age at that time, other students were welcoming and respectful.

However, I encountered problems with some of her teachers on several occasions.

“I was caned when I failed in Mathematics tests or when I failed to show up in school at the agreed time.

My Chemistry teacher once slapped me and hurled insults at me and I wanted to quit school.

But other teachers encouraged me and made sure all our differences were ironed out,” she says.

Kwamboka completed her secondary education last year, but insists there is room for more.

She hopes to pursue a course in community and social work in future. She also has a dream of seeking an electoral position.

“I work towards my dream of positively transforming lives. I would also like to start a home and support orphaned and vulnerable children.” 

The single mother who runs an online business to eke a living strives to instill the value of respect in her children.

“I always tell them to be well mannered in any place or situation they are in, with or without my presence since nobody knows the day or the hour of his or her death.

I also tell them to be accommodative and further avoid engaging in negative behaviours such as alcohol and substance abuse,” she says.

 “My greatest support system has been my close friends. Kisii County Women Representative, Janet Ongera also played a key role in paying my school fees,” she says.

Motherhood has taught her to be accommodative of all people regardless of their social status.

“Parents should accord their children the freedom of expression. If possible, stay with their children and closely monitor their movements so that they can note and rectify any case of irresponsible behaviour,” she advises.

Her biggest fear as a parent, she says, is to see a child drop out of school.

“The greatest gifts I hope to give to my children is showering them with love and affection and educating them to any level they desire,” she says.